Problem
by Water-zone-8 and tee-hee-me
Summary: Someone breaks into Garden and Squall etc have to find the stolen goods...
1. Default Chapter

PROBLEM

I don't own any of the FF8 characters ( too bad)

( Please note that Water-zone-8 wrote this fanfiction and that tee-hee-me edited it.)

PROBLEM

Part one (The mission begins)

One night in Balamb Garden a shadowy figure ran down the main hall, got into the lift and went to the 3rd floor.

In the morning Squall was woken up by a knock on the door.

Quistis: Squall get up, Cid wants to see you.

Squall: Why?

Quistis: Don't ask me. Come on, everybody is waiting for you.

Squall: OK, OK I'm coming.

Squall got up and went to the 3rd floor. Every one was there.

Cid: Squall, good, now that everyone is here I may start.

Squall: groan

Cid: Last night some one came up here and stole something.

Rinoa: May I ask what he stole?

Cid: No, you may not. Well, I continue, you have to find him.

Seifer: Me too?

Cid: Yes. You will leave now.

Rinoa: Cool.

Selphie: Can we ride on a chocobo?

Irvine: I wanna sit next to Selphie.

Zell: Can I take hotdogs with me?

Quistis: I won't have enough time to write the next test.

Squall: Whatever.

Seifer: Do I have to go with Squall?

Cid: Everyone shut up !!!!!!

Everyone: YOU SHUT UP….sorry.

Cid: You will start at Ultemecia's castle.

Raijin enters with Fujin.

Raijin: We were at the door listening. Can we come?

Cid: Of course you can.

Fujin: HAPPY.

Seifer: DEATH !!

Cid: You may go.

Quistis: How do we get there?

Cid: You go outside to the Ragnarok go in and after that you go there. Is it that hard?

Squall: Lets go.

Seifer: You aren't the leader.

Rinoa: Ohhh, lets go.

Rinoa walks out of the room.

Seifer and Squall: Who made her the leader?

*

Later in the Ragnarok.

Seifer: I hate Squall.

Squall: I hate Seifer.

Fujin: MAD.

Rajin: Who? Squall or Seifer?

Fujin: YOU.

Raijin: Me? What did I do?

Selphie: OK we are at Ultemesia's castle.

Seifer: I still hate Squall.

Squall: That doesn't mater.

Seifer: Really?

Squall: Ya, you're the bad guy and that means you're gonna die but I am the good guy that means I will live.

Seifer: How do you know?

Quistis: Come on.

*

In Ultemesia's castle.

Seifer: I relly hate Squall.

Quistis: Seifer don't get mad but you said really wrong.

Seifer: I hate Quistis.

Rinoa: I hate Ultemesia's castle.

Irvine: Waaaaaaaaaaa.

Squall: What?

Irvine: No girls, no guns, nothing.

Selphie: Shut up Irvine. So what do we do now?

Zell: Eat hotdogs.

Irvine: Waaaaaaaaaa.

Quistis: Write a test.

Rinoa: Search.

Squall: Watch TV.

Seifer: Kill Squall and cowboy-crap.

Laguna: Hiiiii.

Everyone: Your not in this fanfiction. GET OUT !!!!!!

They start throwing shoes at him.

Laguna: OK, OK, I'm going.

He leaves.

Selphie: Well, why don't we play a game?

Everyone: Nooooo.

Selphie: OK, OK, we'll search.

Seifer: For what?

Rinoa: For something.

Seifer: OK.

Zell: Where do we start?

Irvine: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Everyone: SHUT UP COWBOY-CRAP WE ARE TRYING TO THINK.

Irvine: …………Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

*

Selphie: What did you find?

Zell: A potion.

Quistis: Nothing.

Rinoa: Nothing.

Squall: A doll of me with no head that Seifer dropped.

Seifer: Give me that.

Fujin: NICE DOLL.

Raijin: Anyway, I didn't find anything, ya know.

Irvine: NO GIRLS !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone turns and looks at Irvine.

Irvine: What ?????????

Zell: Your still thinking of that ??????

Seifer: Can I kill him?????????

Quistis: No. He could be useful you know.

Irvine: I am not useful. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Seifer: Now I can kill him.

Seifer takes out his gunblade and charges at Irvine. Irvine screams and runs behind Selphie.

Irvine: Selphie, Selphie save me, save me.

Selphie: Hey, you're supposed to be my knight in shining armor. Not me, yours.

Irvine: Ummmmmmm, that is when you're in trouble. Now I am in trouble.

Seifer raises his gunblade.

Seifer: I'm going to squash you like a tomato.

Irvine: Aaaaaaaaaaaaa. Selphie please, please.

Selphie: What do you want me to do?

Irvine: Please become taller.

Selphie: How?

Irvine: You're a clever girl, you'll find a way. Just find the idea quickly please, PLEASE !!!!!!!!

Selphie: I got it !!!!!!

Irvine: Selphie I love you, you are the best….you……you……well say what it is !!!!!!

Selphie: GO HIDE BEHIND SOMEONE ELSE !!!!!!!!!!!!

Irvine: Who?

Selphie: …Squall.

Irvine: OK.

Irvine runs and hides behind Squall. Seifer runs over and raises his gunblade.

Seifer: Good I'll get both of you with one hit.

Irvine and Squall: AAAAAAAAAAAA MMAAAMMAAAAAA.

Squall runs behind Zell and Irvine runs behind Squall.

Zell: Hi guys.

Irvine: Squall, you would hide behind the shortest character in the fanfiction.

Fujin: FUN.

Squall: Shut up stupid white haired freak.

Raijin: Bwaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaa.

Fujin: RAGE.

Zell: Seifer stop. We are on a …..mission. STOPPPP man.

Seifer: OK.

Irvine: Zell, man I love you !!!!!

Zell: Look, I have been hit on a lot of times but I never thought you would hit on me.

Irvine: WHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTT?????????????????

Quistis: Zell, Irvine where are your brains?

Zell: Hotdog land.

Irvine: Girl land.

Squall: Whatever.

Fujin: STUPID.

Zell: I must be very popular with guys.

Irvine: I will kill you !!!!!!!!!!!

Rinoa: Come on guys its not killing season.

Irvine: It's not girl season either.

Quistis: I think I should give all of you a brain test.

Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Quistis: Then I am the boss.

Zell: You mean we should kill you?

Quistis: No, why?

Zell: Well we always kill the bosses.

Quistis: Anyway, let's check out the second floor.

Seifer: I can't believe I am taking orders from a girl.

Quistis: Do you want the test?

Seifer: NOOOOOOOOOO.

Quistis: Then get up stairs.

Fujin: FUN.

Raijin: Fun what?

Fujin: WATCHING.

Raijin: Fun watching what?

Fujin: SEIFER.

Raijin: Fun watching Seifer?

Fujin: BEING.

Everyone: You white haired freak. Finish the sentence !!!!

Fujin: BULLIED.

Everyone: ????????????????

Raijin: I got it !!!!!!!

Everyone tuns round and stares at Raijin.

Raijin: She is trying to say that it is fun watching Seifer being bullied.

Fujin: YES.

Seifer: Why you little…..you………you #!#%#^%$@#%*&.

Fujin: HURT.

Squall: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAA.

Seifer: I don't give a shit how hurt you are.

Rinoa: Poor Fujin.

Quistis: Everybody I am the boss here that means that you have to listen to me and follow orders. So either I give you a test or I'll be the boss, got it? Now, I know you don't want the test so I am the boss.

Seifer: I never agreed to that.

Quistis: That doesn't mater.

Irvine: I agree.

Quistis: Great since you all agree…..

Irvine: What, what?

Quistis: GO TO THE SECOND FLOOR THAT'S WHAT.

Everyone: OK we're going.

They all go to the second floor.

Quistis: Its fun being the boss.

(Water-zone-8: Pleaseeeeee write a review!!!!) 


	2. problem part 2

Part two (the second floor) 

Part two (the second floor)

Seifer: Now that we are on the second floor, that means that we have a different boss. Quistis will decide who.

Quistis: I am still the boss.

Seifer: Who?

Quistis: I am STILL the boss.

Seifer: Me?

Quistis: I AM STILL THE BOSS.

Seifer: Me? That is so kind.

Quistis: I said…..

Squall: Can't you hear her Seifer?

Quistis: Thank you Squall.

Squall: She is saying Squall. Isn't it obvious?

Quistis: Yes…wait no, no, no, no and again no.

Seifer: Me.

Squall: Me.

Squall and Seifer take out their gunblades and start fighting.

Rinoa: Why don't we just move on and leave them here?

Selphie: I think that is a good idea.

Quistis: They're fighting over MY decision.

Rinoa: We can leave Quistis too.

Zell: Ya, so its just me, Selphie, Rinoa and Irvine.

Fujin: FORGOTTEN?

Rajin: We're coming too, ya know.

Irvine: Oh no.

Raijin: What?

Fujin: STUPID.

Raijin: Who?

Fujin: COWBOY-CRAP.

Raijin: …..

Rinoa: Stupid cowboy-crap?

Fujin: YES.

Raijin: I am supposed to say what Fujin says in a sentence.

Rinoa: Yeah, because you have nothing better to do.

Raijin: Whatever.

Selphie: Whatever? I thought we got rid of Squall.

Fujin: YOU.

Everyone: Yes?

Fujin: DID.

Raijin: You did.

Rinoa(in a sarcastic voice): Yes Raijin with out you we would not be able to find out what Fujin is saying.

Raijin: Thanks, ya know.

Selphie: Why don't we get rid of Fujin and Raijin?

Rinoa: I think it's a good idea.

Zell: Me too.

Irvine: Me too.

Fujin: RAGE.

Raijin: Come on guys.

Rinoa: See, he's only talking to the guys.

Selphie: Yeah, that is right. So Rinoa and I can get rid of'em.

Irvine: I'm OK with that.

Zell: Ya, me too.

Fujin: MEGA RAGE.

Irvine: Any thing else before you go?

Fujin: MEGA HATE.

Raijin: Its no use Fujin. Let's go find Seifer.

Raijin and Fujin run away.

Rinoa: Hmm, I wonder what Squall and Seifer are doing……

Selphie: Well come on, let's go ahead.

*

Quistis: Draw.

Seifer: It's not fair.

Squall: Ya, I want a rematch….just not now.

Seifer: You cheated.

Squall: I didn't.

Seifer: I will prove it.

Squall: Yeah…right.

Seifer: Come on you guys you saw him……guys….?

Quistis: They're gone.

Seifer and Squall: Shit.

Squall: Rinoa?

Seifer: Quistis?

Quistis: Yes?

Seifer: Oh you're here…….so what, better for me.

Squall: Waaaaaaaa.

Seifer: Don't you start we just got rid of cowboy-crap.

Irvine: Did someone call me?

Seifer: What are you doing here?

Irvine: Ohh Seifer missed me.

Irvine goes and hugs Seifer.

Seifer: Still nutty as a fruitcake. 

Irvine: Ya, still nutty as a…… what? No.

Seifer pushes Irvine off him.

Seifer: Well what are you doing here?

Irvine: I was with the others and took the wrong turn.

Seifer: Of course you did. Only an idiot like you would take the wrong turn.

Irvine: Sorry.

Squall: Well let's go find the others.

*

Selphie: We are on the roof, well if you can call this thing a roof, and we still haven't found anything..

Zell: Irvine, see I told you no matter where we'd go we still wouldn't find girls.

Selphie: Tee-hee.

Rinoa: Wow, Irvine didn't cry……Irvine?

Zell: Irvine we don't want to play hide and seek.

Rinoa: He isn't here.

Selphie: I suggest we stay here and wait for someone to find us.

*

Raijin: Shit where are we?

Fujin: …..

Raijin: Please Fujin speak normally.

Fujin: OK. YOU HAVE A GREAT SENSE OF DIRECTION.

Raijin: Great you speak normally for a sec and its only so that you can say something sarcastic.

Fujin: YA.

Raijin: Look I know I said we should go left but….

Fujin: YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE RIGHT BECAUSE RIGHT IS ALWAYS RIGHT.

Raijin: Yea, now that you know that right was the right way you are blaming me. You are the one who agreed to go left.

Fujin: SLEEPING.

Raijin: What?

Fujin: I WAS SLEEPING.

Raijin: With your eyes open?

Fujin: YES.

Raijin: I can't believe I'm stuck here with you.

Fujin: I KNOW.

Raijin: I hate you Fujin.

Fujin: GOOD, ME TOO.

Raijin: You hate you or me?

Fujin: YOU.

Raijin: I'll kill you when we find Seifer.

Fujin: GOOD.

Raijin: What's so good?

Fujin: I'LL KILL YOU TOO.

Raijin: Why you little……..

*

  
Selphie: SOMEONE COME AND HELP ME. I'M A GIRL.

Rinoa: What difference does it make if you're a man?

Selphie: Well if I'm a man Irvine won't come.

Zell: She's got a point.

Rinoa: Yeah.

*

Irvine: Was that Selphie?

Seifer: Well Selphie is a girl and if she screamed you would be the one who would hear her.

Quistis: Seifer I must say your grammar……

Seifer: Noooo please don't say I made a mistake please, please.

Quistis: I was saying…..

Seifer: Noooooooo.

Quistis: Your grammar has improved.

Seifer jumps up and runs to hug Squall.

Squall: Oh no, Seifer you get away from me, no aaaaaaaaaa.

Squall starts running away from Seifer.

Squall: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Seifer: Come here. Let me give you a big hug.

Squall: AAAAAA no, no big bear hug.

Seifer at last catches Squall lifts him off the ground and gives him a big hug.

Seifer: She said my grammar improved.

Squall: Your gonna kill me, man.

Seifer: So what? I won't miss anything. But do you believe she said my grammar has improved?

Squall: So what she says it to me all the time.

Seifer loosens his grip and lets Squall fall on the ground.

Squall: My butt.

Seifer: What?

Squall: My butt….oh don't worry she hasn't said it to me. I just wanted you to let me go.

Seifer: Ohhhh.

Irvine: Squall get up. Quistis stop smiling and Seifer get down from that cloud.

Seifer: OK.

Squall: OK.

Quistis: OK.

Irvine: I told you there was a girl in here and I am sure it is Selphie.

Seifer: She has been in here for ages and it took you so long to realize she's a girl?

Irvine: Yeah, I mean no! Well anyway we have to find her.

Squall: Whatever.

Quistis: So where do we start?

Irvine: Right.

Raijin: Left.

Fujin: RIGHT.

Seifer: Fujin……Raijin.

Raijin: Seifer.

Fujin: SEE TOLD YOU IT WAS RIGHT.

Raijin: Yeah, yeah you told me it was right.

Fujin: YUP.

Raijin: Well, now that we have found Seifer I can kill you.

Fujin: WHATEVER.

Raijin: Really?

Fujin: YEAH I WON'T MISS ANYTHING.

Squall: Fujin said a sentence. Did anyone else hear that Fujin said a sentence?

Seifer: She has said a sentence once before.

Quistis: She has?

Seifer: Yeah when….oh you weren't there.

Irvine: I'm pretty.

Seifer and Squall: You?

Quistis: What?

Raijin: Your….

Fujin: LIKE SHIT.

Irvine: Why am I not pretty? I'm nicer then Squall.

Quistis: No you aren't.

Seifer: I don't like to say it but Squall is nicer then cowboy-crap.

Raijin: Woo hoo.

Seifer: Shut up.

Fujin: WHATEVER.

Irvine: Why am I not pretty?

Quistis: You have pimples.

Seifer: No he………does.

Irvine: Shhhh people can hear you.

Squall: Ha ha, you have pimples.

Irvine: Quistis why did you say that?

Quistis: It's not that bad.

Squall: It doesn't show in the movies.

Irvine: Ok, it's not that bad but don't talk loudly because I heard Selphie and Selphie might hear me.

Seifer: So what will happen if she does hear?

Irvine: She's gonna kill me.

Squall: How could a girl like Selphie kill you?

Seifer: Why would she kill you?

Quistis: How would she kill you?

Irvine: First, Seifer she would kill me because I have pimples.

Seifer: Ok.

Irvine: Second, Squall, Selphie is stronger then she looks.

Squall: What is she gonna do that will kill you?

Irvine: Number one she will break up with me.

Quistis: You're her boyfriend?

Irvine: Yeah.

Seifer: God, Selphie is going out with cowboy-crap.

Squall: Irvine, could you answer my question?

Irvine: Ok, number two Selphie will bring a chocobo.

Seifer: When she does bring the chocobo can I come watch?

Irvine: Quistis you asked how Selphie would kill me?

Quistis: Yeah.

Irvine: I think I just said it.

Quistis: You did?

Irvine: She's gonna bring a chocobo.

Quistis: Ok.

*

Selphie: Why aren't they coming?

Zell: Maybe if we scream they will here us and come.

Rinoa: Scream? 

Zell: Yeah, why not?

Rinoa: Because you have been sleeping for a half hour and for all that half hour we have been screaming.

Zell: Maybe they can't hear you.

Selphie: Shut up. This time we'll sleep and you will scream.

Zell: No please don't do that to me.

Rinoa: We will. SCREAM.

Zell: Ok, ok. HELP I'M ZELL.

Selphie: Good Zell. Goodnight Rinoa.

Rinoa: Goodnight.

Zell: Man I wanna sleep too.

Selphie and Rinoa: SCREAM.

Zell: ………

Selphie and Rinoa: NOW.

Zell: Ok. HELP.

*

Squall: Seriously Irvine. Do you really think that Selphie will kill you because you have pimples?

Irvine: Yes.

Seifer: You are stupid.

Quistis: Maybe it's just Selphie.

Fujin: MAYBE.

Raijin: Why would she get mad if she knew you had pimples.

Irvine: Because I'm the only person in Balamb that has pimples.

Seifer: I think Irvine has a brain problem.

Quistis: I told you I should have given him a brain test.

Squall: The brain test isn't such a bad idea.

Irvine: I have PIMPLES. Waaaaaaaaa.

*

Selphie: Was that Irvine?

Zell: I think you were dreaming.

Rinoa: No I heard him too.

Zell: Then try screaming.

Selphie: IRVINE.

*

Quistis: I'm bored.

Selphie: IRVINEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Irvine: Oh my god.

Seifer: What?

Irvine: She's coming to get me.

Squall: How?

Irvine: She must have found a chocobo already.

Seifer: Everyone sit down and watch the show.

Irvine: I can hear the chocobo.

Quistis: I can't.

Irvine: It's closer.

Seifer: Why don't they put chairs back here?

Irvine: MAMA.

Seifer: Where's the chocobo?

Irvine: I'm alive? I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive. Woohoo.

Squall: He has lost his marbles.

Quistis: Everyone try and find Irvine's marbles. NOW.

Squall: Found one.

Irvine: Thank you. What are you doing?

Seifer: We're looking for your marbles. They seem to have fallen down a crack in the earth and we can't find them.

*

Sephie: Why isn't anyone coming?

Zell: Maybe they just can't hear you.

Rinoa: Oh, maybe they just can't hear us.

Selphie turns red.

Selphie: I'll kill him. If it's the last thing I'll do. I'll kill him.

Rinoa: Come on Zell this is bad for you too.

Zell: No, not that much.

Rinoa: Not that much? How can you be so calm?

Zell: Easy.

Selphie: What about hotdogs?

Zell: No. Don't say hotdogs.

Rinoa: Remember the way they smell?

Zell: Nooooooooooo.

Selphie: And the taste.

Zell: NOOOOOOOO, I have to go back to Balamb cafeteria.

Rinoa: Then scream.

Zell: HHHHHHHHEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.

Selphie: My ears.

*

Zell: HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.

Squall: What was that?

Rinoa: YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING TWITS. GET OVER HERE.

Seifer: Who is she calling good for nothing?

Quistis: It's not me.

Squall: Good for nothing? I'll remember that.

Fujin: FOLLOW THEIR VOICES.

Seifer: Sound like Fujin is the only person who is thinking properly.

Fujin: THANKS.

Seifer: Your welcome………not.

Quistis: What?

Seifer: Your not welcome.

Squall: Wait, we are all thinking properly and out of all of us you pick to praise the white haired freak?

Seifer: Yeah.

Quistis: Come on guys let's just do what Fujin told us to.

Squall: Ok.

Seifer: Whatever.

Squall: Hey.

Raijin: Come on. Fujin, Quistis and Irvine have already gone ahead.

Seifer: Irvine? Oh I forgot that he's with us.

Squall: Seifer, hurry up.

*

Zell: HELP…….my voice……..why aren't they coming?

Rinoa: How come you're crying?

Zell: Waaaaaaaaa………booohooooooooohoooooooo.

Squall: Rinoa?

Irvine: Selphie?

Fujin, Raijin and Quistis: Zell.

Rinoa runs up to Squall and hugs him.

Squall: Was that you who was shouting you good for nothing?

Rinoa: Ermmmmm. No, that was Selphie.

Selphie runs and hugs Irvine.

Irvine: I don't have pimples.

Selphie: What?

Irvine: Nothing.

Zell: I have no one to hug.

Quistis: Hehe.

Zell: Quistis hug me.

Quistis: No way.

Zell: Fujin?

Fujin: NO.

Raijin: I'll hug you.

Zell: No thanks.

Selphie: Well nothing here.

Quistis: Yeah.

Rinoa: Let's go home.

Seifer: I won't lead the way.

Raijin: Me neither.

Squall: I don't want to be the leader again.

Fujin: NOT ME.

Zell: No way.

Selphie: Irvine, you lead the way.

Irvine: Ok, but…..

Everyone: What?

Irvine: Never mind.

Everyone: What is it?

Irvine: I'll tell you but don't shout.

Everyone: Ok.

Irvine: Promise?

Seifer: This is getting boring.

Irvine: PROMISE?

Seifer: I think I'm gonna die.

Squall: YESSSSSSSSS.

Seifer: Did you say something?

Squall: No.

Irvine: PROMISEEEEEEEEE???????

Seifer: God……..someone say I promise.

Quistis: You say it.

Irvine: No all together.

Seifer: Ok, all together.

Irvine: If you say it I will. Promise?

Everyone: Yeah we promise.

Everyone: Come on. Say it.

Irvine: I can't remember the way back.

Squall: What???????????

Quistis: Yeah. That's the Irvine I know.

Selphie: I can't believe it.

Seifer: Yeah. This is it. This is what's gonna kill me.

Zell: I could kill you…………

Raijin: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Fujin: SHIT.

*

Two hours later in the Ragnarok.

Fujin: I WANNA SLEEP.

Selphie: I hate Irvine.

Irvine: I told you I don't have pimples. What more do you want?

Seifer: I'm still alive……..

Squall: I'm dead……

Seifer: Finally.

Squall: What?

Seifer: Nothing.

Quistis: Get in the Ragnarok. You're blocking the entrance.

Rinoa: WATER…….

Raijin: I have good news.

Fujin: WHAT?

Raijin: I have to go.

Selphie: YESSSSSSSSSSSS.

Seifer: Great………umm, how will you leave?

Raijin:………Ok, I'm staying.

Squall: Damn it.

Selphie: Anyway. Where do we go?


	3. problem part 3

Water-zone-8: The characters aren't mine...blah,blah,blah  
  
Part 3 (on the Ragnarok)  
  
Squall: Go to F.H.  
  
Seifer: F.H.? Why?  
  
Squall: Where would the guy that stole the things go?  
  
Seifer: Anywhere but F.H.  
  
Squall: Exactly.  
  
Seifer: Huh?  
  
Squall: The guy would hide there because no one would think he was there.  
  
Seifer: Um, ok.  
  
Suddenly the Ragnarok lands on the ground.  
  
Quistis: Selphie what happened?  
  
Selphie: The Ragnarok hasn't got any petrol.  
  
Irvine: Shit. Let's all look for something to put in the Ragnarok.  
  
Later.  
  
Irvine: I found petrol.  
  
Everyone: YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS.  
  
Irvine: Here Selphie.  
  
Selphie: Great.  
  
Irvine: You don't look happy.  
  
Selphie: Is not that it's just..  
  
Everyone: WHAT?  
  
Selphie: I don't know if the Ragnarok takes petrol.  
  
Everyone: WHAT???????????????  
  
Quistis: If the Ragnarok won't take petrol what will it take?  
  
Selphie: I don't know. Maybe it takes car fuel. It could even take Molboro tentacles.  
  
Irvine: Great.  
  
Raijin: So what are we gonna do, ya know.  
  
Quistis: No, we don't know. So you stop your ya knowing.  
  
Fujin: YEAH YOU BETTER.  
  
Raijin: Why?  
  
Rinoa: Because it's annoying.  
  
Irvine: Yeah....well Selphie can't we just put in the petrol and see what happens?  
  
Selphie: I don't know. It's too risky.  
  
Irvine: Ok. Well if you change your mind tell me.  
  
Selphie: I was gonna.  
  
Rinoa: So what are we gonna do?  
  
Quistis: You can do what you like. I'm gonna go to sleep.  
  
Fujin: ME TOO.  
  
Raijin: Great, we are stuck in the middle of the desert and you are going to sleep.  
  
Rinoa: Well what else can we do?  
  
Raijin: Ummm..go to sleep..  
  
Selphie: Well good night.  
  
So they tried to go to sleep. In the afternoon they where still trying to go to sleep. They where thinking of so many things.....  
  
Irvine: (No girls. What am I gonna do with no girls? No computer. No computer = no chat = no girls. I'm gonna die.)  
  
Rinoa: (Water. I want water. If I tell Squall he'll say whatever.  
  
If I tell Irvine he'll think I want to spend some alone time with him. I'm gonna die.)  
  
Squall: (Whatever, whatever, whatever. Too many Whatevers. I'm gonna die, whatever.)  
  
Raijin: (Why am I not thinking of anything? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why can I never get a girl friend? Great, out of all the things to think of I found that? Man, I'm gonna die, ya know.)  
  
Fujin: (RAGE, LOVE, HATE, SEIFER, WHATEVER, SHIT. WOW I HAVE LEARNT A LOT OF KNEW WORDS TODAY. WAIT!!!!! I DIDN'T LEARN THE WORD RAGE TODAY. I'M GONNA DIE.)  
  
Zell: (Hotdogs, I need hotdogs. I am gonna die without hotdogs. Hotdogs, hotdogs, hotdogs...I need hotdogs. I'm gonna die.)  
  
Quistis: (I will not be back in time to write the next test. Oh, no. I will have to go to the third floor and talk to master Cid. Shit, I hate talking to headmaster Cid. Why do I hate talking to him so much? God, I am thinking to much. I am gonna die.)  
  
Selphie: (Was Irvine saying what I think he was saying? If he has pimples I am gonna kill him. I hope the people at Balamb don't know. They would laugh and tease me because I am the only girl that has a boyfriend with pimples. Man, If that happens I am gonna die.)  
  
  
  
Everyone: (I am gonna die. I'm so tierd.)  
  
They all fell asleep.  
  
After a long time.  
  
Selphie: Huh? Where am I? Oh, no! Stupid Ragnarok.  
  
Selphie gets up.  
  
Selphie: Man, it's really late.  
  
Selphie looks at the sky.  
  
Selphie: Black, black, black. Come on guys WAKE UP.  
  
Irvine snores.  
  
Selphie: You will pay for this.  
  
Selphie goes to Irvine.  
  
Selphie: SHIT. He really does have PIMPLES.  
  
Rinoa: Huh? What? Who? Why?  
  
Selphie: What am I gonna do?  
  
Quistis: About what?  
  
Selphie: Have the guys woken up?  
  
Rinoa: You really think they would?  
  
Quistis: I am so bored.  
  
Selphie: Hmmm. Until the guys wake up we have to do something. But what?  
  
Rinoa: I got it! We can whisper...whisper..  
  
Selphie: And when they whisper..we can whisper..  
  
Quistis: Great! We'll make Fujin pretend she doesn't know.  
  
After half an hour.  
  
Squall: Morning.  
  
Seifer: Hehehe.  
  
Raijin: Look at all of you! Bwahahahaaaaaaaa.  
  
Fujin: WHAT?  
  
Raijin: Oh, Fujin is ok.  
  
Zell: Shit! Raijin what have you done to your self?  
  
Squall: Look at Seifer.  
  
Seifer: Me? Look at Squall.  
  
Squall and Seifer: Me? You! What?  
  
Irvine: Hehe.  
  
Seifer: Look at what has happened to cowboy-shit.  
  
Irvine: Call me cowboy-crap if you have to, just NOT cowboy-shit.  
  
Zell: Hey! What is that mirror?  
  
Squall: I am gonna look at myself.  
  
Seifer: Narcissist!  
  
Zell: Me too.  
  
Raijin: I'll come.  
  
Irvine: Wait for me.  
  
Seifer: Well if everyone is going...  
  
All the boys: Shit! Look at you! Oh my god! Look at ME!  
  
Irvine: I've been drawn on. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.  
  
Zell: My face.  
  
Seifer: Idiots we've all been drawn on!  
  
Squall: Man...whatever.  
  
Raijin: My beautiful face.  
  
Seifer: Your what face?  
  
Squall: Your beautiful what?  
  
Irvine: You're like shit, man.  
  
Zell: Where are the girls?  
  
Seifer: I bet they did this.  
  
Squall and Seifer take out their gunblades, Irvine takes out his gun and Raijin takes out his staff.  
  
All the boys: ATTACKKKKKKKKKKKK.  
  
*  
  
Rinoa: Do you think they will find us here?  
  
Quistis: No.  
  
Fujin: FUN.  
  
Selphie: Yeah, it was fun.  
  
Rinoa: Hehe. Ummmmm....Quistis where are we?  
  
Quistis: We have put some ropes on the ceiling of the Ragnarok.  
  
Selphie: We have made the ropes like a swing and we are on the top of the Ragnarok swinging.  
  
Squall: GET DOWN HERE.  
  
Seifer: NOW.  
  
Zell: MOVE.  
  
Irvine: YOU WILL PAY.  
  
Rinoa: Who said that they wouldn't find us here?  
  
Fujin: NOT ME.  
  
Selphie: Me neither.  
  
Quistis: Ummmmm.. It wasn't me.  
  
Rinoa: They look mad.  
  
Quistis: They can't get up here anyway.  
  
Fujin: YEAH.  
  
Selphie: Stop worrying.  
  
Irvine: GET DOWN HERE!!!!!!!!!  
  
Rinoa: What do you mean stop worrying? Irvine has a gun.  
  
Selphie: Do you think he has the brains to use it?  
  
Rinoa: No.  
  
Quistis: Maybe we should tease them.  
  
Rinoa: Yeah.  
  
Fujin: OK.  
  
Selphie: Great!!!!!  
  
Irvine: COME DOWN.  
  
Rinoa: WHY SHOULD WE?  
  
Irvine: SO THAT WE CAN KILL YOU.  
  
Seifer hits Irvine on the head.  
  
Seifer: You don't tell them, IDIOT.  
  
Squall: Say something that will make them get down here.  
  
Zell: COME DOWN AND WE WILL KISS YOU GOODNIGHT.  
  
Rinoa: NO THANKS. WE JUST SLEPT.  
  
Zell: YOU WILL PAY.  
  
Seifer: That's right. They'll pay.  
  
Zell: Sorry for asking, but there is something I haven't understood yet.  
  
Squall: What is it?  
  
Zell: Why are we mad at them?  
  
Raijin: Oh my god!!!!!!  
  
Seifer: Don't you get it chicken-wuss?  
  
Squall: They drew on us.  
  
Zell: Oh, is that it? I just thought you wanted to do something.  
  
Irvine: Mama.  
  
Squall: What?  
  
Seifer: I think I hit him a little too hard. Cowboy-crap if you don't shut up I will wack you again.  
  
Irvine: But mama I didn't ask for a red balloon I want a blue balloon...  
  
Seifer: I am not giving you a balloon.  
  
Irvine: I also want a rubber ducky.  
  
Seifer: I am gonna get mad.  
  
Irvine: Look mama it's Sylvester and Tweety.  
  
WACK.  
  
Squall: You killed him.  
  
Seifer: That is great news.  
  
Selphie: WHAT HAPPENED TO IRVINE?  
  
Seifer: HE'S KO.  
  
Rinoa: Great! He won't shoot us.  
  
Quistis: ARE YOU STILL MAD AT US?  
  
Seifer: I'M NOT. I LET OUT ALL MY ANGER ON IRVINE.  
  
Squall: I'M OK.  
  
Zell: ME TOO.  
  
Raijin: ME TOO.  
  
Seifer: AND I DON'T THINK IRVINE IS THAT MAD.  
  
Irvine: Hehe...hic too much to drink.  
  
Squall: Huh? Whatever.  
  
Selphie: GREAT! THEN YOU BETTER GET THAT PAINT OFF YOUR FACES.  
  
Fujin: YEAH.  
  
Rinoa: WE'LL COME DOWN.  
  
The boys went to wash they're faces dragging Irvine and the girls got down from the ropes and waited for the boys.  
  
Selphie: I am gonna put the petrol in the Ragnarok.  
  
Rinoa: Ok, just wait for the boys.  
  
Quistis: My butt.  
  
Rinoa: Yeah, that rope did hurt.  
  
Irvine: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.  
  
Selphie: I wonder what they're doing.  
  
Irvine runs in the room. Half his face is drawn on and the other half has been washed off.  
  
Irvine: HHHHHHEEEEEEEELLLPPPPPPPPP.  
  
Seifer runs in the room holding soap. Squall, Zell and Raijin run behind Seifer.  
  
Squall: Let me see. Let me see.  
  
Zell: I wanna see too.  
  
Raijin: Me too.  
  
Seifer: You had to wake up now? Come here and let me get that paint off your face.  
  
Irvine: Seifer is hitting on me. SAVE ME, SAVE ME.  
  
Seifer: What? No I'm not!  
  
All the boys run around the room. Irvine in the lead, Seifer telling him to shut up and Squall, Zell and Raijin close behind.  
  
Rinoa: Girls get your feet out of the way and watch the show.  
  
Irvine: SELPHIEEEEEEEEEE. SAVE ME, SAVE ME. HELP, HELP....PLLLLLLLEEAAAASSSSSSSSSSEEEEE.  
  
Selphie: Hehe.  
  
Seifer: STOP WILL YA.  
  
Irvine: I KNEW YOU WHERE GAY, SEIFER.  
  
Seifer: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?  
  
Squall: HAHAHA.  
  
Raijin: bwahaha.  
  
Seifer: COME ON MY MEN. ATTACK.  
  
Squall: WHO ARE YOUR MEN?  
  
Seifer: YOU GUYS.  
  
Irvine: SEE I KNEW YOU WERE GAY!!  
  
Fujin: FUNNY.  
  
Seifer: WELL STOP HIM FROM RUNNING.  
  
Zell: OK.  
  
All of them jump onto Irvine and stop him from running.  
  
Irvine: AAAAAAAAA. BOY SHOWER. I WANT A GIRL SHOWER.  
  
Seifer: Good. Now shut up.  
  
Seifer washes Irvine and they let him go.  
  
Irvine: Was that it?  
  
Seifer: Yeah. You twit.  
  
Selphie: Guys, listen I am gonna put petrol in the Ragnarok.  
  
Everyone: Great.  
  
Selphie: Where is the petrol?  
  
Irvine: I have it.  
  
Seifer: You were running with petrol on you?  
  
Irvine: Yeah.  
  
Irvine gives Selphie the petrol.  
  
Selphie: I put it in.  
  
Quistis: And what happened?  
  
Selphie: I dunno if we can go to F.H. but we can try.  
  
Squall: Ok. Let's try.  
  
Selphie starts the Ragnarok.  
  
After a little while.  
  
Selphie: SQUALL! GET OVER HERE.  
  
Rinoa: The guys are asleep again.  
  
Quistis: What is it?  
  
Selphie: That island was never there. Was it?  
  
Quistis: No it wasn't.  
  
Rinoa: I wonder where it popped out of..  
  
Fujin: GUYS AWAKE.  
  
Selphie: Thanks for telling us Fujin. Quistis could you bring them here?  
  
Quistis: Sure.  
  
Rinoa: I wonder what the hell that island is...  
  
*  
  
Quistis: GUYS.  
  
Zell: Chill out babe.  
  
Quistis: Huh?  
  
Irvine: What is it?  
  
Quistis: We just saw an island that has never been there.  
  
Seifer: Are you sure you where wearing your glasses?  
  
Quistis: Seifer!  
  
Squall: Calm down. We're coming.  
  
*  
  
Squall: What the hell is it?  
  
Selphie: Don't know.  
  
Rinoa: We do know one thing.  
  
Raijin: You do?  
  
Fujin: YEAH.  
  
Seifer: And you told the white haired freak before you told us?  
  
Rinoa: Yup.  
  
Irvine: Well what is it?  
  
Selphie: We have to land on that island if we don't wanna crash.  
  
Raijin: Then you can land on it.  
  
They land on the island.  
  
Selphie: Get off the Ragnarok. 


	4. Part 4

Part 4(The island)  
  
Disclamer: None of the characters are mine etc and part of this is from Agatha Cristie's book "And then there were none".  
  
They get off the Ragnarok.  
  
Zell: I have closed eyes. What do you see?  
  
Selphie: I see a deserted island…….  
  
Seifer: …..A white house…..  
  
Raijin: ……..with big windows…..  
  
Fujin: ….HOUSE BEAUTIFUL…….  
  
Squall: ….With a lot of trees around it…..  
  
Rinoa: …..Wow….  
  
Quistis: Zell you can look.  
  
Zell: Ok.  
  
Zell uncovers his eyes.  
  
Zell: Wooooowwwwwwww.  
  
Irvine: HEEEEEELLLLLPPPPPP.  
  
Seifer: Not again.  
  
Everyone turns around and looks at Irvine.  
  
Irvine: Oh my god, don't you get what this is?  
  
Squall: No.  
  
Irvine: This reminds me of Agatha Christie.  
  
Rinoa: Why?  
  
Irvine: Didn't you read the book 'And then there were none'?  
  
Selphie: No.  
  
Raijin: What happens in it?  
  
Irvine: Ten people go to an island and they all die. There is also a poem and it says: Ten little nigger boys out to dine  
  
One choked and then there were nine.  
  
Nine little nigger boys sat up very late  
  
One overslept himself and then there were Eight.  
  
Eight little nigger boys travelling in Devon  
  
One said he'd stay there and then there were Seven.  
  
Seven little nigger boys chopping up sticks  
  
One chopped himself in half and then there were Six.  
  
Six little nigger boys playing with a hive  
  
A bumble bee stung one and then there were Five.  
  
Five little niger boys going in for law  
  
One got into Chancery and then there were Four.  
  
Four little nigger boys going out to sea  
  
A red herring swallowed one and then there were Three.  
  
Three little nigger boys walking in the Zoo  
  
A big bear hugged one and then there were Two.  
  
Two little nigger boys sitting in the sun  
  
One got frizzled up and then there was One.  
  
One little niggar boy left all alone  
  
He went and hanged himself and then there were None.  
  
Selphie: Creepy.  
  
Fujin: LONG.  
  
Raijin: Was he really hugged by a bear?  
  
Squall: Why did he hang himself?  
  
Zell: How did he get frizzled up?  
  
Seifer: That was lovely.  
  
Quistis: Disgusting.  
  
Rinoa: So what?  
  
Irvine: Don't you get it? We're gonna die.  
  
Quistis: Did you say ten little nigger boys?  
  
Irvine: Yeah.  
  
Quistis: We are nine.  
  
Irvine: We're gonna meet someone and he will be the killer.  
  
Seifer: Then we'll kill him.  
  
Irvine: What if I am wrong?  
  
Rinoa: See when it comes to us killing someone he chickens out.  
  
Irvine: Why did we have to stop here? Selphie please could we go?  
  
Selphie: Irvine, we have to look at this place.  
  
They went into the house.  
  
Squall: We should split up.  
  
Irvine: What? No way! I am not leaving you guys.  
  
Seifer: Irvine shut up. We don't need you.  
  
Quistis: Squall how should we split up?  
  
Squall: Let's see….hmmmmmm……..Raijin you will go with Fujin.  
  
Raijin: Don't want to.  
  
Fujin: SH*T.  
  
Squall: You agree? Yes? Great!….Selphie you're with Irvine.  
  
Selphie: Why do I always get Irvine?  
  
Quistis: Because no one else wants him.  
  
Selphie: Who told you I wanted him?  
  
Squall: Zell you will go with….  
  
Zell: Quistis?  
  
Squall: No you will go with Selphie and Irvine.  
  
Zell: Why?  
  
Selphie: So that Irvine will search and not think of girls.  
  
Squall: Seifer you're with Quistis. Rinoa you're with me.  
  
Rinoa: Ok.  
  
Seifer: I get Quistis?  
  
Quistis: I get Seifer?  
  
Everyone: YEAH.  
  
Quistis and Seifer: Ok, ok.  
  
Squall: Quistis you go right.  
  
Quistis: Ok.  
  
Squall: Fujin go left.  
  
Fujin: WHATEVER…  
  
Squall: Zell go…ahead…and if you find a turn ahead go right.  
  
Zell: Ok.  
  
Squall: Rinoa we'll go ahead….  
  
Rinoa: And if we find a turn we'll go left.  
  
Squall: You got it.  
  
Seifer: When do we go?  
  
Squall: Now.  
  
Raijin: I have a question.  
  
Squall: Ask it.  
  
Raijin: What did you just say?  
  
Squall: Oh no. Raijin, you just go left with Fujin.  
  
Seifer: Ok, now go left, right, ahead, back just wherever you have to go, go now.  
  
Everyone: Whatever.  
  
Squall: Hey!  
  
They split up.  
  
Irvine: I am freaking out.  
  
Zell: It's not the first time.  
  
Selphie: Let's just go ahead and find out what happens.  
  
Irvine: I bet Seifer is gonna be the first guy to die.  
  
Selphie and Zell: IRVINE STOP.  
  
Irvine: Ok I'll stop. I wonder when I'm gonna die.  
  
Zell: Why do you think Seifer will die first?  
  
Irvine: Because….  
  
Selphie: But the poem says: Ten little nigger boys out to dine  
  
One choked and then there were nine.  
  
Irvine: Yeah, so?  
  
Zell: Seifer would but up a fight…  
  
Selphie: And we aren't going to dine.  
  
Irvine: The killer will give him food.  
  
Selphie: But TEN nigger boys dine in the poem.  
  
Zell: Yeah and the killer kills the way the poem says.  
  
Irvine: So?  
  
Selphie: So for Seifer to die there would have to be TEN nigger boys. Get it?  
  
Irvine: Ok.  
  
Zell: Great.  
  
Irvine: But I still think someone is gonna die.  
  
Selphie: Oh god. Will you shut up?  
  
*  
  
Squall: Oh no.  
  
Rinoa: What? We went ahead, we found a turn, we went left. What did we do wrong?  
  
Squall: It's not that.  
  
Rinoa: What is it then?  
  
Squall: I didn't say where we would meet.  
  
Rinoa: Shit.  
  
*  
  
Fujin: UGLY…  
  
Raijin: Who? What? ME?  
  
Fujin: …PLACE.  
  
Raijin: Oh…ugly place…yeah, it is ugly.  
  
Fujin: YOU TOO.  
  
Raijin: What? Oh I'm also ugly. Yes, thank you, you are very kind, you…..one minute I'm ugly…DAMN YOU WHITE HAIRED FREAK.  
  
Fujin: OK.  
  
Raijin: Do you think we're gonna die?  
  
Fujin: YOU ARE.  
  
Raijin: But I don't want to die…waaaaaaaaaaaaa.  
  
Fujin: YOU WERE GONNA DIE SOME DAY. JUST DIDN'T KNOW WHEN.  
  
Raijin: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.  
  
Fujin: I DIDN'T THINK THE DAY FOR YOU TO DIE WOULD COME SO QUICKLY.  
  
* 


	5. The rest

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters etc...  
  
Part 5 (The rest because I am sick of putting it in parts)  
  
Seifer: Hey Squall isn't the leader and I let him tell me what to do.  
  
Quistis walks away.  
  
Seifer: Wait.Hey Squall didn't make a place for us to meeet.  
  
Quistis: SEIFER.it's meet.  
  
Seifer: What did I say?  
  
Quistis: You said meet with three E.  
  
Seifer: The same noise came out.  
  
Quistis: Yes, but that is not the point. The point is.  
  
Seifer: I DON'T CARE WHAT THE BLOODY POINT IS.  
  
Quistis: Let's go ahead.  
  
Seifer: WHATEVER.  
  
Squall: I HEARD THAT.  
  
*  
  
Selphie: I don't like this place.  
  
Zell: Me neither.  
  
Seifer: I HATE YOU SQUALL.  
  
Irvine: Oh my god.  
  
Selphie: What?  
  
Irvine: Squall is the killer.  
  
Zell: Why would you say that?  
  
Irvine: Didn't you hear what Seifer just said?  
  
Selphie: Yeah. So? He just said that he hated Squall.  
  
Zell: Yeah. He's always hated Squall.  
  
Irvine: I bet Squall killed Seifer.  
  
Selphie: Now I would have thought that would be the other way round.  
  
Zell: You mean Seifer killed Squall?  
  
Selphie: Yeah.  
  
Irvine: I do have the book with me.  
  
Selphie: You mean the book "And then there were none"?  
  
Irvine: Yeah, I think you should read it.  
  
Zell and Selphie: WHAT?  
  
Irvine: Do you think we'll find anything here?  
  
Zell: From the thief? No.  
  
Irvine: So why not sit down and read a nice book?  
  
Selphie: Yeah. I'll read it.  
  
Zell: I won't.  
  
Irvine and Selphie: Chicken-wuss.  
  
Zell: Ok, just give me the book.  
  
*  
  
Quistis: Seifer calm down.  
  
Seifer: SQUALL I DON'T CARE IF YOU CAN HEAR ME.  
  
Quistis: Stop.  
  
Seifer: NOW I'M MAD.  
  
Quistis: Why?  
  
Seifer: BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO SAY.  
  
Quistis: Ha ha ha.  
  
Seifer: Why you little.  
  
Seifer takes out his gunblade.  
  
Quistis: AAAAAAA.  
  
Seifer: I will kill you.  
  
Quistis: Ok, ok. Ummmmm. Squall is the most stupid thing in Balamb Garden.  
  
Seifer: I know that. But I'm glad you agree with me.  
  
Seifer puts back his gunblade.  
  
Quistis: Thank god.  
  
Seifer: Whatever.  
  
*  
  
Rinoa: How could you forget to say where we would meet?  
  
Squall: You know me.  
  
Rinoa: Yes I do know you. You're stupid, fat and a big twit.  
  
Squall: Then how come I'm your boyfriend?  
  
Rinoa: I don't know yet so don't ask.  
  
Squall: Why don't you look for someone else?  
  
Rinoa: I have Seifer.  
  
Squall starts talking to himself.  
  
Squall: Am I putting ideas in her head?  
  
Rinoa: Yes.  
  
Squall: Shit.  
  
*  
  
Selphie: Oh, I didn't want him to die.  
  
Irvine: Who?  
  
Selphie: Philip.  
  
Zell: Wait Vera is the only person left.  
  
Selphie: She's the killer.  
  
Zell: Wait! The last line says: One little nigger boy left all alone He went and hanged himself and then there were none.  
  
Selphie: Vera isn't the killer? Then who is ?  
  
Irvine: Hehe.  
  
Zell: What are you reading?  
  
Irvine: Me? Playboy.  
  
Selphie: IRVINE.  
  
Irvine: Bad.  
  
Zell: What?  
  
Irvine: A magazine that says how bad playboy is.  
  
Selphie: Then why would they call it playboy?  
  
Irvine: No, it says bad playboy.  
  
Zell: I only see playboy.  
  
Irvine: That is because the bad is on the other side.  
  
Selphie: Why would they put the word bad at the back of the magazine if it's called bad playboy?  
  
Irvine: So that the guys open the playboy and find out that it is saying how bad playboy is.  
  
Zell: Then how do you know that the magazine is called bad playboy and not playboy bad?  
  
Irvine: Because. Oh BACK TO YOUR BOOK.  
  
*  
  
Fujin: LOOK.  
  
Raijin: At what?  
  
Fujin: IN THE SHADOWS.  
  
Raijin: What is in the shadows?  
  
Fujin: I THOUGHT THAT IF YOU WENT IN THE SHADOWS SOMEONE MIGHT JUMP OUT AND KILL YOU.  
  
Raijin: Mama save me.Why would you say that?  
  
Fujin: COS'THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED IN THE BOOK I READ.  
  
Raijin: I hope I won't die.  
  
Fujin: WHY SHOULD YOU DIE?  
  
Raijin: Well the book Irvine read.  
  
Fujin: .MADE YOU CHICKEN OUT.  
  
Raijin: No. I read it.  
  
Fujin: REALLY?  
  
Raijin: Yeah.  
  
Fujin: TELL ME ABOUT IT.  
  
*  
  
Quistis: Oh no.  
  
Seifer: See this is what Squall forgot to tell us.  
  
Quistis: Damn the two-way path.  
  
Seifer: Wanna go left or right?  
  
Quistis: Left.  
  
Quistis and Seifer go down the left path and bump into something.  
  
Quistis: What is that?  
  
Seifer: I don't know.  
  
Voice: Now it's time for someone to get hugged by a bear.  
  
Quistis and Seifer: Three little nigger boys walking in the zoo A big bear hugged one and then there where two.  
  
Seifer: Runnnnnnnnnn.  
  
Quistis: For the first time I agree with you.  
  
Quistis and Seifer run away.  
  
Raijin: I wonder who that was.  
  
*  
  
Rinoa: Squall, Did you just hear Seifer?  
  
Squall: Maybe he's dead.  
  
Rinoa: Why does someone have to die?  
  
Squall: Because then we can talk about the death.  
  
Rinoa: Why?  
  
Squall: I have a question.  
  
Rinoa: Ask it.  
  
Squall: Why do girls always say why?  
  
Rinoa: .Why do boys always have a problem with what the girl says when it's usually right?  
  
Squall: I am not a boy.  
  
Rinoa: Are you a girl?  
  
Squall: No, I am a teenager.  
  
Rinoa: You know, when you say I am a teenager it can also mean that you are a girl.  
  
Squall: Oh. Damn you.  
  
*  
  
Selphie: Oh my god.  
  
Zell: That book was terrifying.  
  
Irvine: You liked it?  
  
Selphie: You keep that book away from me.  
  
Zell: I told you that if you thought you were Vera you would die.  
  
Irvine: Vera? Wasn't she hanged?  
  
Selphie: Yeah.  
  
Zell: Haha. Selphie said she was Vera because she thought Vera wouldn't die.  
  
Selphie: You wanted to be Justice Wargrave.  
  
Zell: So?  
  
Selphie: He was the killer.  
  
Zell: And you?  
  
Selphie: What about me?  
  
Zell: You liked Philip.  
  
Selphie: Yeah, so?  
  
Zell: You shot him.  
  
Selphie: I thought he was the killer.  
  
Zell: Yeah right.  
  
Selphie: I was told to.  
  
Zell: By who? Who would tell you to shoot Philip?  
  
Selphie: THE BOOK.  
  
Irvine: Guys, it's not like you're in the book.  
  
Selphie: But when we read books we take characters and say that that's us.  
  
Irvine: Hell, you don't do that in this book.  
  
Zell: Now you tell us?  
  
Irvine: Did you really think that you were characters as well?  
  
Selphie: You did it to?  
  
Irvine: Yeah.  
  
Selphie: Who were you?  
  
Irvine: Philip.  
  
Zell: Why Philip?  
  
Irvine: Well Philip was the guy that might end up going out with Vera.  
  
Selphie: Are you serious? You chose your character because of a girl?  
  
Irvine: Yeah. Why not?  
  
Zell: Hey, man, can I look at that playboy?  
  
Selphie looks at Zell.  
  
Zell: Bad. The bad playboy.  
  
Irvine: No it's mine.  
  
*  
  
Fujin: WHAT HAPPENED THEN?  
  
Raijin: Vera kicked away the chair.  
  
Fujin: WHY WOULD VERA HANG HERSELF?  
  
Raijin: Let me finish.  
  
Fujin: THAT ISN'T IT?  
  
Raijin: No.  
  
Fujin: I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THE REST.  
  
Raijin: Ok. If you don't want to hear who the killer is.  
  
Fujin: OH JUST SAY THE REST.  
  
*  
  
Squall: I'm a girl, girl, girl, girl.  
  
Rinoa: You are? I didn't know you where a girl.  
  
Squall: I mean boy. I'm a boy.  
  
Rinoa: But you said you where a teenager, not a boy.  
  
Squall: I hate Rinoa.  
  
Rinoa: Whatever.  
  
Squall: Why? Why is everybody saying whatever?  
  
Rinoa: Because everyone has been with you and you keep saying whatever.  
  
Squall: Why do you have an answer for everything?  
  
Rinoa: Why do you always ask questions?  
  
*  
  
Quistis: What was that?  
  
Seifer: I don't know. But I do know two things.  
  
Quistis: What is the first thing?  
  
Seifer: He was talking about someone dying.  
  
Quistis: I got that too. The second thing is.?  
  
Seifer: We are lost.  
  
Quistis: Ok.  
  
Seifer: What do we do?  
  
Quistis: We go back down and find the entrance and wait for the others to come.  
  
Seifer: What if we bump into that thing again?  
  
Quistis: On second thoughts we go ahead.  
  
Seifer: What if that thing is after us?  
  
Quistis: If we hear it, we hide in the shadows and when it's gone we run to the entrance.  
  
Seifer: I wanna go.  
  
Quistis: Me too.  
  
Seifer: Damn Selphie. If she hadn't shown us this island I wouldn't be taking orders from you.  
  
Quistis: Yeah. Well wasn't that guy talking about the book Irvine read?  
  
Seifer: Yeah.  
  
Quistis: He said it was time for someone to get hugged by the big bear.  
  
Seifer: Yup. The three little nigger boys walking in the zoo A big bear hugged one and then there were two.  
  
Quistis: Two nigger boys?  
  
Seifer: Yeah, two of us left.  
  
Quistis: Seifer are you the killer?  
  
Seifer: No. If anyone died I couldn't have killed them I was stuck here with you.  
  
Quistis: You know it isn't me so don't shoot me.  
  
Seifer: I don't have a gun.  
  
Quistis: How do I know?  
  
Seifer: Don't kill me either.  
  
Quistis: I wish I could kill you.  
  
Seifer: Hey you're lucky I don't have a gun or else you wouldn't have been alive to see this island.  
  
*  
  
Selphie: Irvine, must we go ahead?  
  
Zell: Yeah, must we go ahead? The book gave me the creeps.  
  
Irvine: You to? Ok. Let's go.  
  
Selphie, Irvine and Zell turn around.  
  
Zell: I don't remember this.  
  
Selphie: Why is there a two-way path?  
  
Irvine: I don't remember this do you?  
  
Zell: Who's you?  
  
Irvine: Does it really mater?  
  
Selphie: This house outside was small, right?  
  
Irvine and Zell: Yeah.  
  
Irvine: We have to split up.  
  
Selphie: I'm not going alone.  
  
Zell: Squall said I should come here to stop Irvine from doing anything stupid but I think he meant protect Selphie. So I should go with Selphie.  
  
Irvine: No, you are not leaving me here.  
  
Selphie: Come on Irvine. You're strong.  
  
Irvine: Yeah. I'll go.  
  
Zell: Yeah right. He's strong?  
  
Irvine: I'm not going.  
  
Selphie: Zell why did you say that? Now he won't go.  
  
Irvine: You didn't mean what you just said?  
  
Selphie: No.  
  
Zell: Why don't we all just go right?  
  
Irvine and Selphie: Ok.  
  
*  
  
Squall: I think we should go back.  
  
Rinoa: Are you serious?  
  
Squall: Yeah, I really wanna go.  
  
Rinoa: Me too.  
  
Squall: So we will go.  
  
Rinoa: Yeah.  
  
Squall: Ok. Let's move.  
  
*  
  
Fujin: WANT TO GO BACK.  
  
Raijin: You want to go back?  
  
Fujin: YES.  
  
Raijin: Ok.do we have to?  
  
Fujin: YEAH. DIDN'T YOU READ THE BOOK?  
  
Raijin: I did. You didn't.  
  
Fujin: YOU TOLD ME ABOUT IT.  
  
Raijin: Ok, we will go.  
  
*  
  
Quistis: It's not following us.  
  
Seifer: I know.  
  
Quistis: So we just walk ahead?  
  
Seifer: Yeah, why?  
  
Quistis: I want to leave.  
  
Seifer: Why?  
  
Quistis: They might go without us.  
  
Seifer: We will go ahead.  
  
Quistis: What if we are the only ones left here?  
  
Seifer: Then there isn't much we can do about it. I don't know how to ride a Ragnarok.  
  
Quistis: I do know how to ride a Ragnarok.  
  
Seifer: Forget it. We are not going to leave.  
  
Quistis: What if something happens?  
  
Seifer: You'll protect me.  
  
Quistis: Ok.what? No way.  
  
Seifer: Why not?  
  
Quistis: Because I'm a girl.  
  
Seifer: So what?  
  
Quistis: You should be my knight in.the ragged coat.  
  
Seifer: Why?  
  
Quistis: Because you're a guy.  
  
Seifer: But Rinoa always says come you guys. So you're a guy too.  
  
Quistis: I really hate you.  
  
Seifer: Great, me too. So we'll go ahead.  
  
Quistis: Whatever.  
  
Squall: DID SOMEONE SAY MY WORD? *  
  
Selphie: I think we should have gone left.  
  
Irvine: We went right?  
  
Zell: Yes you twit.  
  
Selphie: Zell, when we get home say: and then there were none.  
  
Zell and Irvine: Why?  
  
Selphie: So that I can buy a chocobo and I won't be thinking about it.  
  
Zell: Ok.  
  
Selphie: And buy a new book to read.  
  
Irvine: Ok.  
  
Zell: I hope we're going the right way.  
  
Selphie: Me too.  
  
Irvine: Maybe we're dreaming.  
  
Selphie: The same dream?  
  
Irvine: Yeah. It happened with Laguna.  
  
Zell: Did you even see Laguna in the dream world?  
  
Irvine: I can't remember.  
  
Selphie: Ellone sent us to the dream world.  
  
Zell: We know.  
  
Irvine: If this is a dream that means there might be girls.  
  
Zell and Selphie: Oh my god.  
  
Irvine: What?  
  
Selphie: Is that all you can think about?  
  
Irvine: Well.Yeah.  
  
Zell: Wait if there are girls in this dream that means that there are hotdogs.  
  
Selphie: If there are hotdogs and girls in a place like THIS.  
  
Zell: Go on. Go on. What is there?  
  
Selphie: Then there is definitely a chocobo.  
  
Zell: You don't need to be in a dream to see a chocobo.  
  
Irvine: Yeah. Why a chocobo?  
  
Selphie: So that I can run you over.  
  
Zell hits Irvine on the head.  
  
Zell: Why did you ask? You.you.you sack of potatoes.  
  
Irvine: She was talking to you.  
  
Zell: Why would she run me over? Why not you?  
  
Irvine: Because she said, " I will run you over". She didn't say " I will run both of you over".  
  
Selphie: Come on. Let's go ahead.  
  
Zell: Yeah but.  
  
Selphie: I'll run both of you over.  
  
Irvine: Is that what you meant the other time or have you just changed you mind?  
  
Selphie: That is what I meant the other time.  
  
Zell: Told you so, Irvine.  
  
Selphie: Both of you SHUT UP.  
  
*  
  
Rinoa: We are at the entrance. Happy?  
  
Squall: No, I'm scared.  
  
Rinoa: I'm going to wait in the Ragnarok.  
  
Squall: I'll come with you.  
  
Rinoa: Squall if there is a killer can I die first?  
  
Squall: Yeah no problem.Wait. If you die first that means that I will be alone.  
  
Rinoa: Yeah.  
  
Squall: Oh no. I will die first.  
  
Rinoa: Ok. I didn't think you would chicken out.  
  
Squall: Grrr.Ok. I'll die last.  
  
Rinoa: Great.  
  
*  
  
Quistis: I think we should walk faster.  
  
Seifer: Quistis, if you can hear anything it's probable a rat.  
  
Quistis: A rat that carries a disease?  
  
Seifer: Is there a rat that doesn't carry a disease?  
  
Quistis: No.  
  
Seifer: Then what's the problem?  
  
Quistis: I don't know yet. Let me think about it.  
  
* Fujin: LIGHT.  
  
Raijin: Were we in the dark?  
  
Fujin: IDIOT.  
  
Raijin: What did I say?  
  
Fujin: LOOK.  
  
Raijin: It's the entrance.  
  
Raijin runs to the door and tries to jump on it.  
  
SPLAT.  
  
Raijin falls on the ground. Fujin walks over to him and looks at him.  
  
Fujin: WHAT WERE YOU TRYING TO DO?  
  
Raijin: Hug the door.  
  
Fujin: PEOPLE USUALY KISS THE GROUND.  
  
Raijin: Yeah.  
  
Raijin kisses the ground.  
  
Fujin: YOU KNOW, THE GROUND WAS THERE ALL THE TIME. IF YOU WANTED TO KISS IT YOU COULD HAVE JUST BENT DOWN AND KISSED IT.  
  
Raijin: I hate you white haired freak.  
  
Fujin: LET'S GO TO THE RAGNAROK.  
  
Raijin: Ok.  
  
*  
  
Rinoa: Where do you think Seifer and Quistis are?  
  
Squall: .  
  
Rinoa: Squall? SQUALL.How could you sleep?  
  
Squall: .  
  
Rinoa: Hmmmm.I got it!  
  
Rinoa goes and sits next to Squall.  
  
Rinoa: WHATEVER.  
  
Squall jumps up.  
  
Squall: Who dares to say my word?  
  
Rinoa: I.  
  
Squall: How dare you?  
  
Rinoa: How dare YOU fall asleep?  
  
Squall: Whatever.  
  
Rinoa: Ok. If that's your answer then my answer is whatever.  
  
Squall: Damn.  
  
Rinoa: Hey did you just hear the door of the Ragnarok open?  
  
Squall: You heard it to?  
  
The door of the Ragnarok closes.  
  
Rinoa: Shit.  
  
Squall: What do we do?  
  
Rinoa: Hide. Let's hide.  
  
Squall: Where?  
  
Rinoa: You remember when we painted your face?  
  
Squall: YES.  
  
Rinoa: Well we went up some ropes so that you wouldn't kill us.  
  
Squall: So?  
  
Rinoa: Those ropes are still up there.  
  
Squall: We'll go up them and hide.  
  
Rinoa: At last you got it.  
  
Squall: Hurry, let's go.  
  
*  
  
Seifer: Are we there yet?  
  
Quistis: Where?  
  
Seifer: At the entrance.  
  
Quistis: No.  
  
Seifer: Are we there yet?  
  
Quistis: I just told you.  
  
Seifer: Are we there yet?  
  
Quistis: Can't you see for yourself?  
  
Seifer: No. Are we there yet?  
  
Quistis: Seifer, why are you doing this?  
  
Seifer: What?  
  
Quistis: Why are you saying "are we there yet"?  
  
Seifer: Because I just saw "The return of the mummy".  
  
Quistis: Just.meaning when exactly?  
  
Seifer: Before we left for this journey.  
  
Quistis: And why say "are we there yet"?  
  
Seifer: Because that is what the little boy says.  
  
Quistis: Why does the boy say it?  
  
Seifer: When we get back to Balamb you'll see "The return of the mummy."  
  
Quistis: Ok.  
  
Seifer: Let's go ahead.  
  
Quistis and Seifer walk ahead. Quistis puts on a little smile.  
  
Quistis: Are we there yet?  
  
Seifer: No.  
  
Quistis: Are we there yet?  
  
Seifer: Why are you doing this to me?  
  
Quistis: Are we there yet?  
  
Seifer: Oh no. Your gonna be saying this all the time, aren't you?  
  
Quistis: Yeah. Are we there yet?  
  
*  
  
Selphie: Does anyone know where we're going?  
  
Irvine: No.  
  
Zell: No.  
  
Selphie: If we get lost blame Zell.  
  
Zell: Why me?  
  
Selphie: Because you're the guy who told us to go this way.  
  
Irvine: Stop.  
  
Selphie: Talking? Why should we stop talking?  
  
Irvine: No. Stop walking and whisper.  
  
Selphie and Zell start whispering.  
  
Selphie: By the way why are we whispering?  
  
Irvine: Look.  
  
Zell: At what?  
  
Irvine: That light.  
  
Selphie: So?  
  
Irvine: It's talking.  
  
Selphie: The light?  
  
Zell: Wow. A talking light. We should go up there and photo it.  
  
Irvine: No you twits. There is a guy holding the light.  
  
Selphie: Get down to the point.  
  
Zell: We should hide.  
  
Selphie: Why?  
  
Zell: They're coming closer.  
  
Irvine: Yeah. Let's go and hide in the shadows.  
  
Selphie: Be quiet I wanna hear what they're saying.  
  
Zell: Man, Why don't they put toilets back here?  
  
Irvine: Because you shouldn't want to go to the toilet in the middle of a hall. Also it's not flattering to have a toilet in the middle of the hall.  
  
Selphie: Shut up.  
  
A hooded man walks by. Next to him is a chest that is following him.  
  
Irvine: A walking light, a walking chest.what more do you want?  
  
Hooded man: I'm gonna make a lot of money.  
  
The chest starts talking.  
  
Chest: Yeah.  
  
Zell: Oh my god.  
  
Selphie: Don't freak out yet.  
  
Hooded man: I will make it funny.  
  
Irvine: What the hell is he talking about?  
  
Chest: That sounds more logical.  
  
Zell: What? The talking chest?  
  
The hooded man and the chest walk out of sight.  
  
Selphie: Now you can freak out.  
  
Selphie, Irvine and Zell: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.  
  
Hooded man: Hmmmm.  
  
Selphie: Oh my god. He's coming back.  
  
Irvine: How do you know it's a guy?  
  
Selphie: Are we going to talk about that now?  
  
The footsteps get closer.  
  
Zell: RUN.  
  
Zell, Irvine and Selphie start running.  
  
Hooded man: Ahh.  
  
Selphie, Irvine and Zell run out of sight.  
  
Hooded man: It's fun playing with them.  
  
Chest: You should tell the boss what happened.  
  
Hooded man: And I thought that my magic powers were useless.  
  
*  
  
Fujin: WE ARE IN THE RAGNAROK.  
  
Raijin( in a sarcastic voice): You don't say.  
  
Fujin: I JUST DID.  
  
Raijin: Hey did you hear that?  
  
Fujin: YEAH. IT WAS LIKE TWO PEOPLE CLIMBING A ROPE.  
  
Raijin: Whatever.  
  
*  
  
Raijin: Whatever.  
  
Rinoa: Squall.  
  
Squall: What?  
  
Rinoa: Don't say, "that's my word".  
  
Squall: But it IS my word.  
  
Rinoa: Wasn't that Raijin's voice?  
  
Squall: I think so. Should we get down?  
  
Rinoa: No. We have to be sure.  
  
Squall: Please can we get down?  
  
Rinoa: Why do you want to get down so much?  
  
Squall: Because my butt is hurting.  
  
Rinoa: Squall, your butt always hurts.  
  
Squall starts crying.  
  
Squall: That's not true.  
  
Rinoa: It is.  
  
Squall: It's not. Waaaaaaaaa.  
  
Rinoa: What is it now?  
  
Squall: My girlfriend said that my butt was always hurting.  
  
Rinoa: Well your lucky your girlfriend didn't say you have a big butt.  
  
Squall: Gulp.  
  
*  
  
Quistis: What time is it?  
  
Seifer: Are we there yet?  
  
Quistis: NOOO.  
  
Seifer: It should be morning.  
  
Quistis: It was night?  
  
Seifer: groan  
  
Quistis: What?  
  
Seifer: And then they say you're the bright one.  
  
Quistis: I am. I've been taught better then you.  
  
Seifer: Are you forgetting something?  
  
Quistis: I never forget.what is it?  
  
Seifer: YOU TAUGHT US.  
  
Quistis: .As I was saying the best teacher has taught you.  
  
Seifer: Yeah right.  
  
Quistis: Oh my god.  
  
Seifer: What?  
  
Quistis: Is that the door?  
  
Seifer: Woohoo.  
  
Quistis: I don't believe it.  
  
Seifer: I would kiss the ground, but I can see someone has already kissed it.  
  
Quistis: Let's go in the Ragnarok.  
  
*  
  
Selphie: I think we are far away from that guy.  
  
Irvine: It's a girl.  
  
Selphie: Then why was it talking with a voice like yours?  
  
Zell: Because Irvine is gay.  
  
Irvine: WHATTTTTTTTTT?  
  
Zell: Yeah. Don't you remember when you where hitting on me?  
  
Irvine: I am gonna say this for the last time I was not hitting on you.  
  
Selphie starts crying.  
  
Irvine and Zell: What?  
  
Selphie: We will never get out of this place. Waaaaaaaaaaaaa.  
  
Irvine: You're right.  
  
Irvine starts crying.  
  
Zell: Oh my god.  
  
Selphie and Irvine: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.  
  
Zell: Ok. I'll join in as well.  
  
Zell starts crying as well.  
  
Zell, Selphie and Irvine: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.  
  
Selphie: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.  
  
Irvine: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa.  
  
Zell: WAAAAAAAAAAAAA.  
  
Selphie: It's not a contest.  
  
*  
  
Raijin: My Ragnarok!  
  
Raijin plops down and kisses the Ragnarok.  
  
Fujin: WE DIDN'T JUST GET HERE.  
  
Raijin: But I forgot to kiss the Ragnarok.  
  
Fujin: SO YOU TOOK ME TO THE ENTRANCE OF THE RAGNAROK JUST SO YOU COULD KISS IT?  
  
Raijin: Yeah.  
  
Fujin: TELL ME WHEN YOU'VE FINISHED KISSING IT.  
  
Raijin: Ok, I've finished.  
  
*  
  
Squall: .  
  
Rinoa: I can't hear anything. Squall can you hear anything?  
  
Squall: .  
  
Rinoa: Squall.  
  
Squall: .  
  
Rinoa: Oh my god. You sleep on the ground. That is ok, but you sleep in the air.  
  
Squall snores loudly.  
  
Rinoa: Shut up. They'll hear us.  
  
Squall: What?  
  
Rinoa: You woke up!  
  
Fujin: RINOA.  
  
Rinoa: Fujin?  
  
Raijin: Get down here, ya know.  
  
Squall and Rinoa get off the ropes.  
  
Rinoa: Let's go into the driving room.  
  
Squall: Whatever.  
  
They all go into the driving room.  
  
Rinoa: I don't know how to drive the Ragnarok.  
  
Fujin: ME NEITHER.  
  
Squall: I don't know.  
  
Raijin: Me neither, ya know.  
  
Rinoa: No I don't know! Great.  
  
Squall: Wanna sleep?  
  
Rinoa: That's what you've been doing all day.  
  
Fujin: NO.  
  
Raijin: I don't wanna sleep.  
  
*  
  
Quistis: Ahh. The entrance of the Ragnarok.  
  
Seifer: Damn.  
  
Quistis: What?  
  
Seifer: I was gonna kiss the ground here but it's been kissed.  
  
Quistis: Whatever.  
  
Squall: THAT'S MY WORD.  
  
Seifer: Was that Squall?  
  
Seifer and Quistis run to the driving room.  
  
Quistis: Oh my god.  
  
Squall: Hi.  
  
Seifer: You're all here?  
  
Fujin: SELPHIE, IRVINE AND ZELL AREN'T.  
  
Raijin: Oh yeah, I forgot about them.  
  
Rinoa: Did you find anything?  
  
Quistis: No. What about you?  
  
Squall: Nothing.  
  
Raijin: Nothing.  
  
Seifer: Let's go.  
  
Squall: But, what about Selphie, Irvine and Zell?  
  
Quistis: We'll wait here.  
  
Raijin: Damn. Do we have to?  
  
Fujin: YES.  
  
Rinoa: Maybe we should look for them.  
  
Everyone: NOOOO.  
  
*  
  
Selphie: Hey. Do you think we should wait for someone to come and get us?  
  
Zell: Not again.  
  
Irvine: Yeah.and we can't scream because the hooded girl will come.  
  
Selphie: It's a man.  
  
Irvine: It's a girl.  
  
Zell: It's a thing.  
  
Selphie and Irvine: Ok.  
  
Zell: Now walk.  
  
Irvine: Wait.  
  
Selphie: What? Is it a walking chest?  
  
Zell: Is it a walking light?  
  
Irvine: No. It's the.WOOHOO.  
  
Selphie: He's lost it.  
  
Zell: Yup.  
  
Irvine: Is that the.  
  
Selphie: What?  
  
Zell: Say it.  
  
Irvine: Entrance.  
  
Selphie: Huh?  
  
Zell: Irvine, are you felling ok?  
  
Irvine: It's the entrance.  
  
Zell: Where?  
  
Irvine: Well it's not behind me.  
  
Zell: Ahh. Yes.  
  
Zell and Selphie turn around.  
  
Selphie: It is the door but.  
  
Zell and Irvine: What?  
  
Selphie: Isn't that shape on it like Raijin?  
  
Irvine: Yeah.  
  
Zell: Ok. So what, let's just go.  
  
Irvine: The book doesn't say: Six little nigger boys stuck in a bee-hive One falls on the door and then there were five.  
  
Selphie: Anyway, I'm going in the Ragnarok.  
  
Irvine: I'll come with you.  
  
Zell: Me too.  
  
*  
  
Squall: You drive me crazy.  
  
Rinoa: Ok, Britney Spears.  
  
Squall: I just can't sleep.  
  
Seifer: I wish you were crazy.  
  
Quistis: Why?  
  
Seifer: Because then he wouldn't mind me killing him.  
  
Squall: My heart is jumping.  
  
Raijin: It is?  
  
Rinoa: Your heart looks ok to me.  
  
Squall: Whatever.  
  
Seifer goes to take out his gunblade. Rinoa straightens her hair.  
  
Squall: STOP.  
  
Everyone stops.  
  
Quistis: Say what it is. My pen is gonna slip and I don't want the next test to come out all messy.  
  
Rinoa: I want to straighten my hair.  
  
Seifer: This gunblade is heavy.  
  
Squall: You drive me crazy babe.  
  
Zell: Was that the line in the song?  
  
Squall: Yeah. Yay, yay oooo.  
  
Everyone goes on doing what they wanted to do.  
  
Rinoa straitens her hair and Seifer takes out his gunblade.  
  
Seifer: Hehe.  
  
Seifer charges at Squall.  
  
Squall: Oh no.  
  
Squall runs around the room singing with Seifer close behind.  
  
Seifer: When I'm finished with you, you'll go down like a sack of potatoes.  
  
Squall: You drive me crazy.  
  
Seifer: If you keep running around the room I'll drive you mad.  
  
Squall: Crazy but it feels alright, babe thinking of you keeps me up all night.  
  
Rinoa: Squall has feelings for Seifer.  
  
Seifer: Rinoa, when I'm done with Squall you're next.  
  
Rinoa: Shit.  
  
Suddenly Irvine comes in the room.  
  
Irvine: Hi guys.  
  
Squall runs next to Irvine and tapes him on the arm.  
  
Irvine: Hi Squall.  
  
Squall points at Seifer.  
  
Squall: Look.  
  
Irvine turns around and sees Seifer.  
  
Irvine: AAAAAAA.  
  
Squall continues running around the room with Irvine behind him screaming and Seifer running after them trying to squash them.  
  
Irvine: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.  
  
Seifer: COME HERE.  
  
Squall: You drive me crazy.  
  
Selphie and Zell come in the room.  
  
Selphie: Why is Seifer chasing Irvine and why is Squall singing Britney Spears?  
  
Quistis: Come, sit down and watch the show.  
  
Zell: Ok.  
  
Squall: Oh babe, babe I'm so into you.  
  
Rinoa: He has started the song from the beginning.  
  
Seifer: I'll squash you like I squashed my watermelon.  
  
Zell: I bet he sat on it.  
  
Irvine: AAAAAAAAAAA. SELPHIEEEEEEE. SAVE ME.  
  
Quistis: We should get Irvine a bodyguard.  
  
Raijin: Yeah. We should, ya know.  
  
Fujin: FUNNY.  
  
Seifer: Come over here.  
  
Irvine: AAAAAAAAAAAAA, Squall run faster.  
  
Squall: The earth is moving but I can't feel the ground.  
  
Rinoa: Then how do you know the earth is moving?  
  
Quistis: You can't feel the ground?  
  
Zell: I wonder what that feels like.  
  
Fujin: EVERYONE IS LOSING IT.  
  
Raijin: BWAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAHHAAAAAAAAA.  
  
After one hour.  
  
Seifer: Time out.  
  
Squall: We'll continue later. You drive me crazy.  
  
Irvine: Ok. Just stop singing.  
  
Squall: I can't. It's stuck in my head. My heart is jumping.  
  
Squall, Seifer and Irvine sit down.  
  
Squall: Rinoa.she's asleep.  
  
Irvine: Selphie WAKE UP.  
  
Seifer jumps up in the air.  
  
Seifer: Quistis is asleep.  
  
Squall: And that makes you happy?  
  
Seifer: Yeah.  
  
Irvine: Why?  
  
Seifer: No Quistis = No tests.  
  
Squall, Irvine and Seifer: WOOHOO.  
  
Quistis: What?  
  
Squall: Oh no.  
  
Selphie: What happed?  
  
Rinoa: Yeah. What is so bad?  
  
Zell: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA.  
  
Raijin: What is Seifer chasing you?  
  
Seifer: You'll pay for that Raijin.  
  
Fujin: WHATEVER.  
  
Zell: Hey we didn't tell the guys about the hooded man.  
  
Selphie: You would remember him wouldn't you?  
  
Irvine: Ok. We'll tell them.  
  
Rinoa: What is it?  
  
Selphie tells them about the hooded man.  
  
Squall: A walking chest?  
  
Seifer: Did you guys drink?  
  
Zell: No.  
  
Irvine: Is there a toilet in the Ragnarok?  
  
Raijin: No.  
  
Selphie: Anyway. We are still on this island.  
  
Everyone: Let's get out of here.  
  
Selphie starts the Ragnarok.  
  
Quistis: You could have told me you would start the Ragnarok.  
  
Selphie: Why?  
  
Quistis: I was writing the test and my pen slipped.  
  
Selphie: So? Write the test on a different piece of paper.  
  
Quistis: I DON'T HAVE ANOTHER PIECE OF PAPER.  
  
Seifer: Hehehe.  
  
Quistis: Shut up.  
  
Squall: Who were you talking to?  
  
Quistis: Everyone.  
  
Selphie: Guys the Ragnarok is gonna fall.  
  
Everyone: What?  
  
Selphie: Put your seatbelts on.  
  
Everyone puts their seatbelts on.  
  
Irvine: I DON'T HAVE A SEATBELT.  
  
Selphie: That is because you're in the wrong seat.  
  
Irvine: What difference does it make?  
  
Selphie: Well first you are sitting on the table and that does not have a seatbelt.  
  
Irvine runs into his seat and puts his seatbelt on.  
  
Quistis: Where are we falling?  
  
Selphie: We are falling in that desert.  
  
Rinoa: Shit.  
  
Selphie: It's the only desert that has thieves.  
  
Squall: What more do we want?  
  
Selphie: We are falling.1.2.3.  
  
The Ragnarok starts falling.  
  
Zell: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.  
  
Irvine: You should put toilets here.  
  
Seifer: Wow. Look down.  
  
Irvine looks down.  
  
Irvine: MAMMAAAAAAAAAAAA.  
  
Seifer: HEHE.  
  
Irvine: I need to go to the toilet.  
  
Rinoa: Well you can't in the middle of the desert.  
  
The Ragnarok falls with a big crash.  
  
BANG.  
  
Rinoa: Stupid author! You said it fell with a crash.  
  
Author: Whatever.  
  
Squall: Hey.  
  
Selphie: Get off the Ragnarok.  
  
Seifer: Ok.  
  
They get off the Ragnarok.  
  
Irvine: It's weird.  
  
Raijin: This place?  
  
Fujin: YEAH.  
  
Rinoa: Ok. Let's search.  
  
Squall: Why do you always want to search?  
  
Rinoa: You got a problem?  
  
Squall: Errr.no.  
  
Irvine: Look, I'm ok with searching.but do we have to split up?  
  
Seifer: No.  
  
Zell: It's ok if you don't want to split up.  
  
Irvine: Really?  
  
Zell: Yeah. We always end up splitting up.  
  
Irvine: Damn.  
  
Selphie: What happens if we forget where the Ragnarok is?  
  
Seifer: We'll have to find it.  
  
After a few hours of searching.  
  
Squall: Are you bored?  
  
Irvine: I'm playing with my playboy.  
  
Irvine looks at Selphie.  
  
Irvine: Bad.  
  
Selphie: I'm thinking of what to do with the Ragnarok.  
  
Fujin: BORED.  
  
Raijin: Me too.  
  
Seifer: I'm playing.  
  
Squall: With what?  
  
Seifer: I have a doll of me and a doll of you. I'm killing you.  
  
Zell: Hotdogs in the air, hotdogs on the ground.there everywhere.  
  
Squall: Ok we got it Zell.  
  
Quistis: I'm thinking of the new test.  
  
Squall: Rinoa, what are you looking at?  
  
Rinoa: See that cloud of smoke?  
  
Everyone looks at the cloud of smoke.  
  
Selphie: It must be the thieves.  
  
Seifer: Cool. Let's go up there.  
  
Irvine: I won't go.  
  
They all run up to the cloud of smoke.  
  
Seifer: Irvine is heavy. Give me a hand.  
  
Squall and Seifer carry Irvine up to the cloud of smoke.  
  
Rinoa: I can't see anyone.  
  
Selphie: Ok. But we should hide because I can see someone coming.  
  
They hide behind a little mountain of sand.  
  
Irvine: I won't go.  
  
Seifer: Is your brain still there?  
  
Irvine: Yeah.  
  
Squall: Look if you don't shut up we'll find ourselves in a pot ready to be eaten.  
  
Irvine: Raw?  
  
Quistis: Yes.  
  
Fujin: YUCK.  
  
Rinoa: Look! Now you've made him cry.  
  
Irvine: WAAAAAAA.  
  
Zell: SHHHHHH.  
  
A man goes near the fire.  
  
Selphie: That is the hooded guy.  
  
Irvine: How can you tell?  
  
Selphie: Because he's wearing the same hooded cloak.  
  
Irvine: Oh yeah. That is him.  
  
Zell: He's been on a diet.  
  
Selphie and Irvine: Huh?  
  
Zell: He's thinner.  
  
Selphie examines the guy.  
  
Selphie: Yeah.  
  
Irvine: I told you it's a woman.  
  
Squall: Hey look! here comes another hooded guy.  
  
The hooded men sit down.  
  
Hooded man: Well?  
  
Man in black cape: What?  
  
Hooded man: I want money.  
  
Man in black cape: Here.  
  
He hands the hooded man some money.  
  
Zell: Wow.  
  
Squall: Seifer! Help me hold back Zell.  
  
Zell: MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Hooded man: Good.  
  
Man in black cape: See ya.  
  
The man in the black cape walks away.  
  
Selphie: What Seed rank do you have Zell?  
  
Zell: Rank one.  
  
Seifer: You get 500Gil?  
  
Zell: Yeah.  
  
Raijin: Hehe.  
  
Fujin: FUN.  
  
Rinoa: Fujin is only saying fun.  
  
Squall: Whatever.  
  
Hooded man: He was right.they are fun.  
  
Selphie: Who's they?  
  
The hooded man walks away.  
  
Irvine: Where is he going?  
  
Seifer: Somewhere.  
  
Zell: Irvine should get his own pick up toilet.  
  
Rinoa: Oh, yeah. He should carry it around with him.  
  
Selphie: Do you think there is a chocobo forest here?  
  
Squall: A chocobo forest in the middle of the desert?  
  
Selphie: Ok. Do you think there is a chocobo desert here?  
  
Everyone: No.  
  
Squall: You think we should take out the GFs?  
  
Seifer: No.  
  
Shiva: Why not?  
  
Seifer: Because you'll freeze us.  
  
Ifrit: I'm here.  
  
Irvine: HOT, HOT, HOT.  
  
Rinoa: Cold, cold, cold.  
  
Shiva and Ifrit: Shut up.  
  
Squall: You shut up.  
  
Quistis: Squall wasn't I teaching you something that said love and speak nicely to your GF?  
  
Cactus: Ohhh, Quistis.  
  
Cactus hugs Quistis.  
  
Quistis: OUCHHHHHHHHHHH. Get off me you spiky thing.  
  
Squall: What where you saying Quistis?  
  
Quistis: Nothing.  
  
Seifer: Which GF is junctioned onto who?  
  
Quistis: I have Cactus and Doomtrain.  
  
Squall: I have Shiva and Siren.  
  
Seifer: I know I have Ifrit.  
  
Selphie: You took him from me! Anyway I have tonberry.  
  
Zell: I've got Quezacotl.  
  
Irvine: I've got Pandemona and Bahamaut.  
  
Squall: I was wondering where he went.  
  
Irvine: I feel safe with him.  
  
Squall: Whatever.  
  
Rinoa: I have Carbuncle, Brothers, Leviathan and Eden.  
  
Fujin: NOTHING.  
  
Raijin: Yeah. We don't have GFs.  
  
Seifer: Rinoa you have a hundred GFs.  
  
Rinoa: They are friends.  
  
Squall: You took Eden from me.  
  
Rinoa: So what? I took Shiva from you once.  
  
Squall: You're all taking GFs from me.  
  
Eden: Bahamut could you give me some of that popcorn?  
  
Big brother: You want a Pepsi little bro?  
  
Little brother: Yeah. Thanks.  
  
Seifer: You stupid GFs you aren't on vacation.  
  
Shiva: We aren't?  
  
Leviathan: Oh, Yeah. There isn't any sea.  
  
Little brother: Damn.  
  
Quezacotl: We need a vacation.  
  
Quistis: Well if you want a vacation you could help us get out of here.  
  
Shiva: On second thoughts we don't want the vacation so much.  
  
Ifrit: Yeah.  
  
Selphie: Look, you came out to help us and you will.  
  
Carbuncle: So what do we do?  
  
Irvine: Tell us where the Ragnarok is.  
  
Selphie: No, we know where the Ragnarok is.  
  
Irvine: We do?  
  
Squall: Yeah.  
  
Rinoa: Will we go to the Ragnarok of not?  
  
They go to the Ragnarok.  
  
Zell: So.  
  
Raijin: What do we do?  
  
Shiva: Dance.  
  
Ifrit: Sleep.  
  
Carbuncle: Play.  
  
Siren: Sing.  
  
Selphie: Ride a chocobo.  
  
Irvine: Shoot something.  
  
Squall: Whatever.  
  
Seifer: Kill Squall.  
  
Squall: I heard that.  
  
Fujin: ZZZZZZ.  
  
Rinoa: Fujin made her point pretty clear.  
  
Zell: Eat hotdogs.  
  
Quistis: I'LL GIVE YOU A TEST.  
  
Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.  
  
Quistis: Ok. Calm down.  
  
Eden: Why don't you guys just go?  
  
Seifer: Hello? Don't you know that it is out of petrol?  
  
Shiva: It takes petrol?  
  
Squall: Oh no.  
  
They explain everything that happed to the GFs.  
  
Ifrit: Hehe.  
  
Carbuncle starts sniggering.  
  
Shiva: Hahaha.  
  
Big brother: I don't think I've laughed so much in my life.  
  
Little brother: Bwahaha.  
  
Seifer: We didn't tell you the story so that you'd laugh.  
  
Squall: Shut up you stupid GFs.  
  
Zell: Let's look ahead.  
  
Rinoa: Where is ahead?  
  
Selphie: Don't know.  
  
Raijin: What are we going to do now?  
  
Rinoa: Is this the type of fanfiction where you can tell the author to get rid of someone?  
  
Author: No.  
  
Rinoa: Too bad.  
  
Quistis: Yeah, we could have got rid of Raijin.  
  
Selphie: Anyway.let's go up in the lift.  
  
Squall: The lift is for three people.  
  
Fujin: YEAH.  
  
Seifer: I'm going in the lift.  
  
Rinoa: Me too.  
  
Squall: I'll go in the lift to see that Seifer doesn't do anything.  
  
Quistis: If he does give him three slaps from me.  
  
Squall: Ok.  
  
Selphie: I'm not gonna wait for you guys. I'll go up the steps.  
  
Irvine: I'll come.  
  
Zell: I need to lose a kilo.  
  
Quistis: Just one?  
  
Zell: .Or two.  
  
Raijin: Or ten.  
  
Zell: HOW MANY KILOS DO YOU WANT ME TO LOSE?  
  
Fujin: TWENTY.  
  
Zell: Gulp.  
  
Quistis: Hehe.  
  
Zell: So everyone is going up the steps except Rinoa, Squall and Seifer (yuck).  
  
Squall: Yeah.  
  
Everyone except Rinoa, Squall and Seifer run up the steps.  
  
Rinoa walks into the lift.  
  
Rinoa: Come on.  
  
Seifer and Squall get stuck in the doorway.  
  
Squall: You're in the doorway!  
  
Seifer: So are you!  
  
Seifer and Squall: Move it! Who? Me? No, you!  
  
Squall: Rinoa, pull me in.  
  
Rinoa: Whatever.  
  
Rinoa pulls Squall in the lift. Squall falls onto the wall.  
  
Squall: Ouch.  
  
From the force Seifer falls on Squall.  
  
SQUASH.  
  
Rinoa: Hehe.  
  
Seifer: Thanks Squall.  
  
Squall: Why you little $^&&^^%%#$$#$&*!@#$%^&*.  
  
The lift starts going up.  
  
Rinoa: Why is the lift shaking?  
  
The lift stops.  
  
Seifer: Uh oh.  
  
Squall: Maybe Seifer is the guy who should lose a kilo.  
  
Seifer: WHYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!! Out of all the guys.  
  
Rinoa: I think he is losing it.  
  
Squall: Yeah.  
  
Seifer: Cowboy-shit, Chicken-wuss, Ya-know-it-all-Raijin. I'm stuck here with girl guy.  
  
Squall: Isn't that Irvine?  
  
Seifer: No, It's you. Because you're a guy and you look like a girl.  
  
Squall: Hey!  
  
Rinoa: Do you think we'll get out of here?  
  
Seifer: No.  
  
Squall: Yes.  
  
Rinoa: Why no?  
  
Seifer: Because I have a cloud of bad luck around me and we are here with Squall and that is bad luck and I'm suffering, that means that my bad luck is working.  
  
Rinoa: Ok.I didn't understand one word you said.  
  
Seifer: Squall, why do you think we are gonna get out of here?  
  
Squall: Because I AM THE MAIN GUY OF THIS FANFICTION AND THE MAIN GUY CAN'T STAY IN A LIFT.  
  
Seifer: Let's say you're right.I am the bad guy and I should stay in a lift so you can't get out of here.  
  
Squall: Maybe I should kill you right now.  
  
Rinoa: I don't think that would be a good idea.  
  
*  
  
Selphie: Why aren't they here?  
  
Quistis: The lift is faster, isn't it?  
  
Fujin: YEAH.  
  
Zell: I didn't lose a kilo.  
  
Irvine: How do you know?  
  
Zell: I weighed myself.  
  
Raijin: Where?  
  
Zell: Right there.  
  
Zell points to some scales.  
  
Selphie: How many kilos are you?  
  
Zell: Erm.um.hmm.58 kilos.  
  
Selphie: 58! No way! Quistis is 58! She is thinner than you.  
  
Quistis: Thank you.  
  
Zell: Ok, I'm 59. Not a big difference.  
  
Irvine: I'll weigh myself.  
  
Raijin: Me too.  
  
Selphie: I'm after Raijin.  
  
Fujin: AFTER SELPHIE.  
  
Irvine weights himself.  
  
Selphie: How much are you?  
  
Irvine: 85.  
  
Zell: Then you say I'm the one who has to lose kilos.  
  
Irvine: Shut up.  
  
Raijin: I'm exactly 81.  
  
Selphie: I'm 45.  
  
Quistis: I know I'm 58.I think Rinoa is 48.  
  
Fujin: 50.  
  
*  
  
Seifer: Haya!!!!  
  
Rinoa: Hehehe.  
  
Squall: Seifer, what the hell are you doing?  
  
Rinoa: Hehe.well, he is sitting down and is holding a doll of himself.  
  
Squall: I think he is loosing it.where did he get that doll of himself?  
  
Rinoa: Look he's got out a doll of you!  
  
Seifer: OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!!  
  
Squall: Seifer, why do you have a doll of me?  
  
Seifer: I'm your #1 knock off head fan.  
  
Squall: Am I supposed to be flattered?  
  
Rinoa: IRVINE!  
  
Squall: Why are you screaming for Irvine?  
  
Rinoa: It's the first name that came into my head.I was thinking about a dork and I found one.  
  
Seifer: KO.  
  
Squall: Who? You?  
  
Seifer: No, you.  
  
Squall kicks Seifer.  
  
Seifer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.  
  
Squall: Did it hurt that much?  
  
Seifer: Oh my god! I hate this bad luck cloud.  
  
Rinoa: Seifer what happened?  
  
Seifer: My Squall dolly fell down there.  
  
Squall: Hahahahahahahahahaha.  
  
Seifer starts crying.  
  
Rinoa: It's not that bad.  
  
Seifer: I'll never see my Squall dolly again.sniff.  
  
Rinoa turns around and faces Squall.  
  
Squall: Is he serious?  
  
Rinoa: I think that in a few days time he won't only be your #1 knock off head fan.  
  
*  
  
Irvine: I sense there is a girl in the Ragnarok.  
  
Zell looks at Quistis, Selphie and Fujin.  
  
Zell: Just one?  
  
Irvine: Why? Do you see any more?  
  
Quistis: Ahem.  
  
Rinoa: IRVINE, MOVE IT!  
  
Irvine: See? Told you it was a girl.  
  
Selphie: That's Rinoa.  
  
Quistis: Let's go find out.  
  
Raijin: Where do we go?  
  
Fujin: LIFT.  
  
* Seifer: Why? Why my Squall dolly?  
  
Rinoa: Don't you have another one?  
  
Seifer: Boohoohoo.yeah.  
  
Squall: If you have another Squall doll why are you crying?  
  
Seifer: I liked that one.  
  
Rinoa: What did that one have that was so special?  
  
Seifer: A loose head.  
  
Squall: Whatever.  
  
Irvine: Rinoa?  
  
Seifer: Cow-crap?  
  
*  
  
Zell: Hehe.  
  
Irvine: Great, first it was cowboy-crap then it became cowboy-shit and now its cow-crap.  
  
Raijin: Out of all the names you just said, cow-crap is the best for you.  
  
Selphie: haha.  
  
Quistis: RINOA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE?  
  
Rinoa: THE LIFT STOPED.  
  
Zell: SHOUT LOUDER.  
  
Seifer: GET US OUT OF HERE CHICKEN-WUSS.  
  
Squall: WHERE ARE YOU?  
  
Quistis: LOOK UP.  
  
They look up and see Zell, Irvine, Selphie, Fujin, Quistis and Raijin.  
  
Rinoa: If you're right over us why where we shouting?  
  
Raijin: Don't know.  
  
Seifer: Who is the strongest out of you guys?  
  
Quistis: Irvine.  
  
Seifer: Ok, Irvine you hold Selphie.  
  
Irvine: No problem.  
  
Seifer: Raijin will hold onto Selphie and we will climb up.  
  
Selphie: No way.  
  
After a long time of deciding who will sit where and that they couldn't use GFs for this.  
  
Irvine: Zell, you're heavy.  
  
Raijin: Zell, hold onto me properly.  
  
Zell: Why has everyone got a problem with me?  
  
Seifer: I don't.  
  
Squall: OK.Zell get Rinoa up.  
  
Rinoa grabs onto Zell.  
  
Zell: I think I'm gonna split in two.  
  
Squall: Imagine what will happen when Seifer climbs up him.  
  
Zell: Shit.  
  
Rinoa climbs up.  
  
Squall starts climbing up.  
  
Zell: How many kilos are you Squall?  
  
Squall: Less then Seifer.  
  
Seifer: Shut up.  
  
Squall climbs up.  
  
Seifer starts climbing.  
  
Zell: I think I gonna puke all the hotdogs I've eaten.  
  
Seifer: Too bad Squall isn't down there.  
  
Squall: Zell, If you puke in the lift of the Ragnarok you will clean it up.  
  
Rinoa: If you puke I'll never go into the Ragnarok's lift again.  
  
Seifer gets up.  
  
Zell: Get me up!!!!  
  
Irvine: Why?  
  
Zell: I don't like hanging upside-down.  
  
They all get Zell up.  
  
Raijin: I'm exhausted, ya know.  
  
Rinoa: No we don't know.  
  
Fujin: ZZZZZZZZZZZ.  
  
Irvine: I'm exhausted too.can we sleep?  
  
Rinoa: My voice.  
  
Seifer: OK, let's go sleep.  
  
*  
  
Irvine: Snore.  
  
Selphie: ZZZZZZ.  
  
Squall kicks Seifer in his sleep.  
  
Seifer: Why you little.  
  
Seifer kicks Squall back and goes back to sleep.  
  
A Hooded man walks in and leaves something.  
  
In the morning Seifer wakes up huging Quistis.or what he thinks is Quistis.  
  
Seifer: Morning.  
  
Quistis: .  
  
Seifer: Why am I hugging Squa.AAAAAAAAAAAA.  
  
Squall: What is it?  
  
Seifer: Yuck, yuck, yuck.  
  
Squall: What?  
  
Seifer: I need a shower.  
  
Squall: Ahh.you smelt yourself.  
  
Seifer: If I hadn't just woken up your head would be.  
  
Squall: Yuck.I've got to go puke.  
  
Rinoa: Why?  
  
Squall: Because Seifer touched me.  
  
Carbuncle: You people do sleep a lot.  
  
Little brother: You know what I realized big bro?  
  
Big brother: No.  
  
Little brother: They've got our names wrong.  
  
Big brother: Oh yeah.  
  
Irvine: You have different names?  
  
Rinoa: Of course they do.Sacred and Minotaur.  
  
Irvine: And who is who?  
  
Big brother: Let's just stick to Little and Big brother.  
  
Seifer: What is that?  
  
Squall: You stupid twit it's a bit of paper.  
  
Quistis: Is it a test?  
  
Quistis's eyes start growing.  
  
Raijin: Someone hide the piece of paper.  
  
Selphie: Ok.  
  
Selphie hides the piece of paper.  
  
Rinoa: Weren't we in the desert?  
  
Fujin: YES.  
  
Irvine: Why?  
  
Zell: YEAH, baby.  
  
Squall: Zell?  
  
Seifer: what is it?  
  
Zell: I found a box of hotdogs.  
  
Raijin: Ok.  
  
Zell goes in the room and starts putting hotdogs on his seat.  
  
Seifer: What the hell are you doing?  
  
Zell: I want the place to smell of hotdogs.I'll take them away.  
  
Zell walks out of the room.  
  
Quistis: Thank god.  
  
CRASH.  
  
Zell: QUISTIS, HOW DO YOU GET KETCHUP OFF THE GROUND?  
  
Selphie: Oh no.not on the floor or the Ragnarok.  
  
Rinoa: Guys do you know what is going on?  
  
Seifer: Sure.chicken-wuss is killing hotdogs and cow-crap is gonna start crying.  
  
Irvine: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.  
  
Rinoa: We are in the jungle.  
  
Squall: Why did you take us here?  
  
Rinoa: Me?  
  
Selphie: Shit.  
  
Seifer: Do you know that we are swearing a lot?  
  
Squall: Sure, all the swearing started when you came with us.  
  
Fujin: LOOK.  
  
Zell runs in the door screaming.  
  
Quistis: What is it?  
  
Zell: There are monkeys in the Ragnarok.  
  
Everyone: WHAT?  
  
Rinoa: I'll go outside and try to find out where we are.  
  
Quistis: I'll come.  
  
Selphie: Me too.  
  
Irvine: Hey, girls.  
  
Zell: I'll go as well.  
  
Irvine: We can go with the girls? Oh, good. I'll come.  
  
Fujin: ME TOO.  
  
Squall: Hey, I'll come.  
  
Seifer: Me too.  
  
Raijin: Ok, we are all going.  
  
*  
  
Outside the Ragnarok.  
  
Squall: Ok.what do we do?  
  
Seifer: Let's search.  
  
Squall: Ok. I'll go with Rinoa.  
  
Rinoa: No way!  
  
Seifer: Good, I'll go with Rinoa.  
  
Quistis: No, Seifer and Squall will saty here and we'll go check out this place.  
  
Rinoa: Do we agree?  
  
Selphie: Sure.  
  
Irvine: Yeah.  
  
Zell: Ok.  
  
Raijin: I'll come.  
  
Fujin: Me too.  
  
They all start walking away.  
  
Squall: Wait! You're leaving me with Seifer?  
  
Seifer: Alone with Squall?  
  
Selphie: Yeah.bye.  
  
Quistis: You just wait here.  
  
They walk away.  
  
Squall and Seifer: Shit.  
  
*  
  
After an hour.  
  
Selphie: Guys I wanna go back.  
  
Rinoa: We haven't found anything.  
  
Irvine: We should go back.  
  
Quistis: Zell.why is there ketchup on you're butt?  
  
Zell: What? Crap! I was sure I didn't sit on that hotdog.  
  
Raijin: Hehe.  
  
Zell tries to get the ketchup off his trousers.  
  
Fujin: HAHA.  
  
Quistis: You're making it worse, Zell.  
  
Zell: Bugger! I know.  
  
Rinoa: Then stop trying.  
  
Selphie: Can you see the Ragnarok?  
  
Irvine: No.  
  
Raijin: Oh no.  
  
Fujin: LOST.  
  
Raijin: See? We went where cow-crap did and we got lost. That means that I'm not the only guy that gets us lost.  
  
Irvine: I thought only Seifer calls me cow-crap.  
  
Selphie: No, cow-crap.  
  
Irvine: Great! My girlfriend is calling me cow-crap.  
  
Quistis: Why don't we try to find the Ragnarok.  
  
Zell: Sure.  
  
*  
  
Seifer: Where do you think they are?  
  
Squall: Somewhere.  
  
Seifer: I'm hungry.  
  
Squall: Me too.  
  
Seifer: Do you think there is food up this tree?  
  
Squall: Maybe.  
  
Seifer: Who will climb up the tree?  
  
Squall: I wouldn't want to hurt it's bark.  
  
Seifer: Me neither.  
  
Squall: Don't make me angry.  
  
Seifer: It's ok if you get angry.  
  
Squall: Really?  
  
Seifer: Yeah, I'll know why you're angry.  
  
Squall: Why?  
  
Seifer: Because of the heat.  
  
Squall: What?  
  
Seifer: Yeah, you're wearing black and black absorbs the heat.  
  
Squall: Get up the tree!!!!!!  
  
Seifer: No.  
  
Squall: Do you know what we didn't think of?  
  
Seifer: How to kill you?  
  
Squall: No, we can shake the tree.  
  
Seifer: Ok. On the count of three.1.2.3.  
  
Seifer and Squall shake the tree and a big monkey falls down.  
  
Monkey: GFGUJG.  
  
Seifer: Errrrrr.hi.  
  
Squall: He doesn't look happy.  
  
Monkey: GRRRRRRRRRRR.  
  
The monkey raises his arms.  
  
Monkey: MORGERRRRRRRRR.  
  
Squall: He has a poor vocabulary.  
  
Seifer: But he makes his point clear.  
  
Monkey: AAAAAAAAAA.  
  
Seifer and Squall run up the tree.  
  
Seifer: Thank god.we are safe up here.  
  
Squall: Seifer did you know that monkeys can climb trees?  
  
The monkay starts climbing the tree.  
  
Squall: AAAAAAAA.  
  
Seifer: And very quickly.  
  
The monkey starts walking towards them.  
  
Seifer: Look who we meet again.  
  
Squall: The world is small.  
  
Seifer: Squall, what do we do?  
  
Squall: I don't know.  
  
Seifer: I got it! We'll do a Tarzan.  
  
Squall: A WHAT?  
  
Seifer: A Tarzan. We'll swing from tree to tree.  
  
Squall: WITH A GUNBLADE ON OUR BACK?  
  
Seifer: That might be a problem.but who cares?  
  
Squall: I care.  
  
Seifer: Ok, you'll get betten up by the monkey and I'll do a Tarzan.  
  
Seifer starts swinging from tree to tree.  
  
Seifer: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.  
  
Squall: You would make a good Tarzan.  
  
Seifer: Shut up! Anyway Squall, it was fun.  
  
Squall: What was fun?  
  
Seifer: Knowing you.  
  
Squall: Why WAS it fun? What is happening to me?  
  
Seifer: You're gonna get squashed by the monkey.  
  
Squall turns around and sees the monkey with raised arms.  
  
Squall flings himself onto a branch that is swaying.  
  
Squall: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.  
  
Seifer: You're a better Tarzan than me.  
  
Squall: AAAAAAAAA.I know.AAAAAAAAAAAA.  
  
Seifer: Maybe you make a better Jane.  
  
*  
  
Selphie: Ok, we are in the middle of the jungle.  
  
Irvine: Maybe if we don't try to find the others they will come and get us.  
  
Quistis: What would make you think that?  
  
Irvine: Isn't that what has happened so far?  
  
Zell: Yeah, but we told them to stay where they are.  
  
Fujin: DORKS.  
  
Raijin: Thanks Fujin.  
  
Rinoa: Let's just walk ahead and see where we'll end up.  
  
Selphie: What if we fall into a trap?  
  
Rinoa: We'll stand on each other's heads and we'll get out of the trap.  
  
Irvine: Raijin and Zell will not stand on my head.  
  
Selphie: My legs.I'm tired.  
  
Irvine: Do you want me to hold you?  
  
Selphie: Wow! Suddenly I feel great.  
  
Everyone walks away.  
  
Irvine: Did I say something?  
  
* Seifer: Come on Jane!  
  
Squall: Grrrr.Ok.Xu.  
  
Seifer: WHAT?????????????????  
  
Squall: Hehe.what is it Xu?  
  
Seifer: Stop calling me Xu.  
  
Squall: Stop calling me Jane.  
  
Seifer: Ok, Barbie.  
  
Squall: Yuck that's worse. Hmmmmm.You want to be a guy?  
  
Seifer: Yup.  
  
Squall: Ok Cid.  
  
Seifer: SAY WHAT?  
  
Squall: Maybe I should call him Zell.  
  
*  
  
Rinoa: Hey!  
  
Zell: What?  
  
Rinoa: It's a dead end.  
  
Irvine: How can there be a dead end in the middle of the jungle?  
  
Rinoa: I don't know. But whatever it is, it is covered with plants.  
  
Quistis: Well, we could try to pull down the plants.  
  
Selphie start pulling on a plant.  
  
Selphie: I found a hole.  
  
Zell: Look through it.  
  
Selphie looks through the hole.  
  
Selphie: Shit.  
  
Irvine: What?  
  
Selphie: An ant.  
  
Quistis: Ant? It's a plant not ivy.  
  
Selphie: Not a normal ant.  
  
Rinoa: What? An alian ant?  
  
Selphie: No, a huge ant.  
  
Raijin: How big?  
  
Selphie: Why don't you look?  
  
Raijin looks into the hole.  
  
Raijin: Holy shit.  
  
Quistis: Our swearing vocabulary is growing.  
  
Raijin: So is the size of ants these days.  
  
Rinoa: It can't be that big. Let me look.  
  
Raijin: Be my guest.  
  
Rinoa looks through the hole.  
  
Rinoa: That is an ant?  
  
Irvine: Let me looky.  
  
Irvine looks through the hole.  
  
Irvine: Gulp.  
  
Irvine's eyes grow.  
  
Irvine: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.  
  
Quistis: What?  
  
Irvine: It will eat us.and I haven't gone on a date with the library girl yet. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.  
  
Selphie: IRVINE.  
  
Irvine looks at Selphie.  
  
Irvine: And my girlfriend is gonna break up with me.Waaaaaaaa.  
  
Quistis looks through the hole.  
  
Quistis: That ant is bigger then an elephant.  
  
Fujin: HUGE.  
  
Selphie: What do we do?  
  
Quistis: It's coming our way.  
  
Zell: Crap.  
  
Quistis: We'll fight it.  
  
Rinoa: We have to fight it?  
  
Raijin: We have our wepons.  
  
Zell: .And we forgot to junction our GFs.  
  
Quistis: What? Zell, I have gone over the way to junction a GF seven times. Do you want me to tell you again?  
  
Zell: Nooooooooooooo.  
  
Rinoa: Good job, Zell. Now it IS coming our way.  
  
Raijin: What do we do?  
  
Selphie: Yeah. We can't fight it.  
  
Irvine: RUNNNNNN.  
  
Irvine runs away.  
  
Selphie: I think we should follow.  
  
Rinoa: Yeah.  
  
They all start running.  
  
Selphie: I can't move in this dress.  
  
*  
  
Seifer: Go Barbie!  
  
Squall: Grrrrr.one minute Cid.  
  
Seifer: Ok, you're Squall.  
  
Squall: Ok Seifer.  
  
A plant grabes Squall.  
  
Squall: What? They're eating plants here?  
  
Seifer: It looks as if it has a big appetite.  
  
Squall: Don't look. DO SOMETHING.  
  
Seifer: Ok. I'll swing towards you with a you-know-what.  
  
Squall: No I don't know what.  
  
Seifer: A rope whatever they call them.  
  
Squall: I got it.  
  
Seifer: Anyway I'll swing towards you with a you-know-what and pull you out of it's arms.leaves.vines?  
  
Squall: Ok. Just hurry up!  
  
Seifer starts swing towards Squall.  
  
Seifer: Ready.  
  
Seifer sticks out his hand to grab Squall.  
  
Squall: What are you going to.NOT BY THE HAIR.  
  
Seifer hands go right through Squall's hair and Seifer passes Squall.  
  
Seifer: ?????????  
  
Squall: My head.come on try again and NOT by the hair.  
  
Seifer starts swing again.  
  
Seifer: Here I come.  
  
Seifer grabs Squall by the jacket and pulls him out of the plants grip.  
  
Squall: Great. Oh no.  
  
Seifer: What?  
  
Squall: I think I'm falling.  
  
Squall falls out of his jacket and Seifer keeps on swing.  
  
Seifer: Come back up here!  
  
Squall: Where are you taking my jacket?  
  
Seifer throughs the jacket on Squall's head.  
  
Seifer: Put it on and I'll swing down to get you.  
  
Squall puts the jacket on.  
  
Squall: Ok, I'm ready.  
  
Seifer grabs Squall by the bealt.  
  
Squall: Owwwww.my tummy.  
  
Seifer: So far so good.  
  
Seifer closes his eyes.  
  
Seifer: Waaaaaahooooooooooo.  
  
Squall: Oh my god. Seifer open you're eyes. QUICK!  
  
Seifer: Why?  
  
Squall: You're going into a tree!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
CRASH.  
  
Squall: Five ducks.sixs little ducks.  
  
Seifer: Do you relize I'm sitting on you're butt?  
  
Squall: Seven ducks.  
  
Seifer: I don't think so.better get off before he relizes.  
  
Seifer gets off Squall.  
  
Squall: Can you hear that bird?  
  
Seifer slaps Squall.  
  
Seifer: Wake up!  
  
Squall: What was that for?  
  
Seifer: Let's continue swaying.  
  
Squall and Seifer start swaying.  
  
Squall: Thank god this time I'm next to you and you aren't holding me by the belt.  
  
Seifer: Whatever.  
  
Squall: Umm.Seifer do you want the number one bad news first or the number two bad news first?  
  
Seifer: Hmmm.the first one.  
  
Squall: The plant is following us.  
  
Seifer: Ok, and number two?  
  
Squall: That monkey is following us and he has a bunch of friends with him.  
  
Seifer: WHAT?????????  
  
Monkey: YEHAAAAAAA.  
  
Squall: AAAAAAAAAA.RUNNNNNNN.  
  
Seifer: You mean swing.  
  
Squall: Whatever.  
  
*  
  
Selphie: Go behind the tree!  
  
They run behind the tree.  
  
Quistis: I think it lost us.  
  
Irvine: Was it after us?  
  
Raijin: I think so.  
  
Fujin: CRAP.  
  
Suddenly the ground starts moving.  
  
Quistis: What the.?  
  
Selphie and Zell fall down.  
  
Selphie: Zell, could you do two things for me?  
  
Zell: Sure.  
  
Selphie: Number one: get that ketchup off your butt.  
  
Zell: Ok, and number two?  
  
Selphie: GET OFF ME!!!!!!!!  
  
Zell jumps up.  
  
Zell: Roger.  
  
Selphie gets up.  
  
Rinoa: What was that?  
  
Zell looks behind the tree.  
  
Zell: SShhhhh.  
  
Irvine: What?  
  
Irvine looks behind the tree.  
  
Rinoa: Well?  
  
Irvine goes green.  
  
Selphie: Irvine is turning into an alian.  
  
Quistis: I'll tell you what it is.  
  
Quistis looks behind the tree.  
  
Rinoa: Will someone tell me what it is?  
  
Quistis: The movement was because the ant sat down.  
  
Raijin: I can't belive it followed us!  
  
Selphie: Yeah.  
  
Irvine: Mama.  
  
Zell: .  
  
Fujin: SILENCE.  
  
Irvine: I want my mummy.  
  
Selphie: Irvine.  
  
Rinoa: What would make you feel more at home, Irvine?  
  
Irvine: Thank you Rinoa.  
  
Rinoa: I just want you to shut up.  
  
Irvine: Whatever. Well, Quistis could be my mum.  
  
Quistis: GRRRRRRRRRRRRR.  
  
Irvine: Rinoa could be my sister.  
  
Rinoa: I'm so glad I'm not.  
  
Irvine: Rinoa, why are you torchering me?  
  
Rinoa: It's a hobby.  
  
Zell: Ok, I know what my next hobby should be.  
  
Selphie: Next? What is your first hobby?  
  
Zell: Eating hotdogs of course.  
  
*  
  
Squall: AAAAAAAA.  
  
Seifer: What?  
  
Squall: A monkey grabed onto my butt.  
  
Seifer: AAAAAAHAHAHHAHHHHAHAAAAAAAAA. Hehehe.  
  
A monkey grabs onto Seifer's butt.  
  
Seifer: Crap!  
  
Squall: If you did crap that monkey would go away for sure.  
  
Seifer: I'll take out my gunblade and get the monkey off your butt.  
  
Squall: NOOOOOOOOOOO.  
  
Seifer: Why not?  
  
Squall: What if you take off my butt as well as the monkey?  
  
Seifer: It won't hurt anyone.  
  
Squall: It will hurt ME.  
  
Seifer: Come on Squall. Be a man.  
  
Squall: No, I'll get the monkey off your butt with the gunblade.  
  
Seifer: No fear!  
  
*  
  
Zell: I chose my hobby because.  
  
Selphie: Zell, we have a huge ant behind us and you are talking about your hobbies.  
  
Zell: The ant is being very polite and it is waiting for me to tell you about my habbies.  
  
Quistis: Hobbies.  
  
Zell: What?  
  
Quistis: It's hobbies. You said habbies.  
  
Irvine: I think Zell talking about his hobbies is interesting.  
  
Everyone: What?  
  
Irvine: Why not? We have nothing better to listen to.  
  
Zell: Thanks Irvine.  
  
The ground starts moving again.  
  
Irvine: Again?  
  
Zell: Look! A bush!  
  
Quistis: So?  
  
Irvine: Maybe he wants to go on the loo.  
  
Zell: No! Look at me.  
  
Selphie: That is what we have been doing all the time.  
  
Zell runs over to the bush and starts rubbing his butt on the bush.  
  
Rinoa: What is so cool about this?  
  
Zell stops rubbing his butt and runs up to the others.  
  
Zell: Look!  
  
Zell sticks out his butt at them.  
  
Rinoa: Are we supposed to kick his butt?  
  
Raijin: Hope so.  
  
Zell: Any ketchup?  
  
Everyone: Oh!.No.  
  
*  
  
Seifer: Squall you're going into a wall.  
  
Squall: How do you know it's a wall?  
  
Seifer: Guessing.  
  
SPLAT.  
  
Squall: I think it's a wall.  
  
Seifer: Did any of your teeth come out?  
  
Squall: No.  
  
Seifer: Let's sit on this tree.  
  
Squall: And do what?  
  
Seifer: Take out your gunblade and kill the monkeys.  
  
Squall: Kill them? But they are cute.  
  
Seifer: GRRRRRRRR.Well, hit them!  
  
Squall: Ok.  
  
Squall and Seifer take out their gunblades.  
  
Squall: Ummmmm.where are the monkeys?  
  
Seifer: I think we lost them.  
  
Squall: WOOOOOHOOOOOOOO.  
  
*  
  
Zell: No ketchup on my butt lalala.  
  
Selphie: Hehe.  
  
Rinoa: Irvine, go and look for the others.  
  
Irvine: Why me?  
  
Raijin: Because if we lose you it won't matter.  
  
Fuijn: FUNNY.  
  
Selphie: Raijin, if that was the reason we chose Irvine then we should send Zell with him.  
  
Irvine: So what is the reason?  
  
Rinoa: You are so tall that we can't lose you.  
  
Zell: Irvine will you go?  
  
Irvine: Ok.  
  
Irvine leaves.  
  
Selphie: Thank god I thought he would never leave.  
  
Quistis: Isn't he your boyfriend?  
  
Selphie: Yeah, so?  
  
*  
  
Irvine: I think they wanted me to leave. I'm hungry.  
  
Irvine sits under a tree.  
  
Irvine: Hey, there might be food on the tree.  
  
Irvine gets up.  
  
Irvine: I don't want to climb the tree.hmmmm.  
  
*  
  
Seifer: Let's get down from the tree and look for the others.  
  
Squall: No way.  
  
Seifer: Why not?  
  
Squall: What if there is a plant that wants to eat me?  
  
Seifer: So what? Are we gonna stay up here?  
  
Squall: Yup.  
  
Seifer: What is that?  
  
Squall: What?.Hey! Who is moving the tree?  
  
Seifer: I think I'm falling.  
  
Seifer and Squall fall off the tree.  
  
Seifer: Ummm.Do you want the good news of the bad news?  
  
Squall: The good news.  
  
Seifer: We found one of the guys.  
  
Squall: Great and the bad news?  
  
Seifer: It's cow-shit.  
  
Irvine: I thought it was cow-crap.  
  
Seifer gets up.  
  
Squall: I see both of you but.umm.why are you upside down.  
  
Seifer: You dork! You are upside down.  
  
Squall: I am? It feels normal.  
  
Irvine: Come on! I have to take you to the others.  
  
Seifer: Where are they?  
  
Irvine: Come!  
  
Irvine takes them to the others.  
  
Squall: RINOA!  
  
Rinoa: Shut up!  
  
Squall: Why?  
  
Selphie: The ant is back.  
  
Irvine: Shit!  
  
Seifer: What ant? Are you guys losing it?  
  
Squall: Why would you be afraid of an ant?  
  
Quistis: Do you want to go out and look at it?  
  
Seifer: I will.  
  
Seifer walks out, walks back behind the tree and with a smile on his face, says very casualy.  
  
Seifer: Shit.  
  
Squall: Well?  
  
Seifer: ...  
  
Squall: Ok. I'll look.  
  
Squall looks at the ant.  
  
Squall: It's ugly.  
  
Raijin: Whatever.  
  
Squall: Don't say that only I am allowed to say that word.  
  
Raijin: Whatever.  
  
Squall: I'm gonna kill you.  
  
Raijin: Do you want a piece of my staff?  
  
Squall: Do you want a piece of my gunblade?  
  
Raijin sees the gunblade.  
  
Raijin: Can we talk about it?  
  
Seifer: Wait! I got it.  
  
Quistis: Got what?  
  
Seifer: We want to get the ant away, right?  
  
Fujin: RIGHT.  
  
Seifer: So someone will go out and distract it.  
  
Rinoa: Not me.  
  
Irvine: Me neither.  
  
Fujin: NO.  
  
Seifer: Wait!  
  
Quistis: How do we decide?  
  
Seifer: We play a game.  
  
Everyone: What game?  
  
Seifer: The author will decide.  
  
Author: What? Me? Seifer, you thought of it.  
  
Seifer: Yeah but you are the author.  
  
Author: And you are my inspiration.  
  
Seifer: Thank you.  
  
Irvine: What am I? Author: You are the dork that cries all the time.  
  
Irvine: That isn't true.waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.  
  
Quistis: The author is right.  
  
Author: Say my proper name.  
  
Quistis: Okay.what is it?  
  
Author: WATER-ZONE-8!!!!!  
  
Zell: I wanna use the loo.  
  
Water-zone-8: Be careful I can throw you out of the fanfiction.  
  
Zell: Yes please!  
  
Water-zone-8: You want to go?  
  
Zell: YES!  
  
Water-zone-8: Then I'll keep you in it.  
  
Zell: Grrrrrrrr.  
  
Water-zone-8: Well Seifer? The game?  
  
Seifer: Oh, yeah! Well.I have no inspiration.  
  
Water-zone-8: .I know what lies beneath the snowfields.  
  
Irvine: What?  
  
Water-zone-8: You'll find out!  
  
Squall: Whatever.  
  
Selphie: Aren't we in a jungle?  
  
Water-zone-8: Yeah.  
  
Selphie: Then why are you talking about snowfields?  
  
Water-zone-8: I won't tell you.  
  
Zell: Why not?  
  
Water-zone-8: You want to know what lies beneath the snowfields?  
  
Everyone: Yes.  
  
Water-zone-8: I can't tell you but I can take you there.  
  
Seifer: Why would we wanna go there?  
  
Water-zone-8: Even if you didn't want to go you will end up going there.  
  
Seifer: Then take us there.  
  
Water-zone-8: First you have to do me a favor.  
  
Seifer: What?  
  
Water-zone-8: Will you guys be in my next fanfiction?  
  
Everyone: NO!  
  
Water-zone-8: Please.  
  
Everyone: NO!  
  
Water-zone-8 gives Selphie a chocobo, gives Irvine a playboy, gives Rinoa petpals 6, gives Squall wepons monthly, gives Fujin a football shoe (to kick Raijin), gives Raijin a shield (to save him from Fujin), gives Quistis the new test, gets Seifer and Zell out of the dresses and into their normal clothes, gives Seifer a gunblade polishing set and gives Zell a hotdog.  
  
Everyone: I'll be in your next fanfiction.  
  
Water-zone-8: Good. Be in my computer tomorrow.  
  
Everone: So soon?  
  
Water-zone-8: Yeah.  
  
Seifer: Wait! We could decide if we wanted to come?  
  
Everyone: Yeah!  
  
Seifer: I don't want to be in this fanfiction! Why did I go into her computer?  
  
Rinoa: Because you didn't want to be left out, remember.  
  
Seifer: Oh.yeah. I'm stupid!  
  
Squall: We know.  
  
Zell: I'm cold!  
  
Seifer and Squall: What?  
  
Zell: We are in SNOW!!!  
  
Squall: Oh yeah.  
  
Selphie: I'm freezing!  
  
Quistis: It's not our fult that YOU wear a mini dress.  
  
Selphie: Maybe I should stop wearing mini dresses.  
  
Irvine: No!  
  
Quistis: Let's talk.  
  
Water-zone-8: Noooooo! You can't! See that house?  
  
Everyone: Yeah.  
  
Water-zone-8: What you're looking for is in there!  
  
Everyone: How do you know?  
  
Water-zone-8: This is my fanfiction!!!!!  
  
Everyone: Oh.yeah.  
  
They all run into the little hut.  
  
Zell: It's got heating!  
  
Selphie: Thank god!  
  
Squall: Wrong! It's air-conditioning.  
  
Raijin: Then why is it hot, ya know?  
  
Squall: Because it's cold out there so it seems hot in here, silly :p  
  
Quistis: Shut up. I'm supposed to say that.  
  
Squall: Why?  
  
Quistis: Because I think logicaly.  
  
Squall: And what do I think like?  
  
Quistis: You think like a whatever man.  
  
Squall: What is your problem?  
  
Fujin: LOOK!  
  
Everyone: At what?  
  
Fujin: TABLE!  
  
Zell: There is a table in here?  
  
They all see the table. (Which was in front of them all the time)  
  
Raijin: There it is, ya know!  
  
Irvine: What is in the chest?  
  
Selphie: Hey! I think it's what headmaster Cid was looking for!!  
  
Cid walks out of a door.  
  
Cid: THAT'S ITTTTTTT!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone looks at him as if he's gone bananas.  
  
Rinoa: What?  
  
Seifer: What is in it?  
  
Squall: Everyone SHUT UP!!!!!  
  
Everyone shuts up.  
  
Squall: Cid, how did you get here?  
  
Cid: I walked through that door.  
  
Cid points at the door.  
  
Fujin: SILLY ANSWER.  
  
Raijin: Correct, ya know.  
  
Squall: Whatever.  
  
Squall turns around to Cid.  
  
Squall: I know you came through the door.  
  
Cid: You do?  
  
Squall: Ya, I saw you. But how did you get here?  
  
Cid: Simple. If you go through that door you will find your self at Balamb Garden.  
  
Everyone: WHATTTTTTT?????????????  
  
Squall: ( I can't belive we did soo much to find out that we could have just gone through a door)  
  
Rinoa: ( Damn it! Woohoo! I didn't die in this fanfiction!!)  
  
Irvine: ( God!! All this way without seeing a girl? When I gat back to Balamb I'll have to.)  
  
Cid: .  
  
Irvine: CRAP!  
  
Everyone: What?  
  
Irvine: Water-zone-8!  
  
Water-zone-8: Yeah?  
  
Irvine: How many times do I have to tell you NOT to let people read my mind?  
  
Water-zone-8: .  
  
Irvine: I'm thinking things that kids shouldn't be reading!!  
  
Selphie: IRVINE! What are you think?  
  
Irvine: Umm.Of you.  
  
( Tch, Tch. Such lies!!)  
  
Selphie: ( I wonder what he is thinking of.)  
  
Cid: Why is everyone silent?  
  
Everyone: We are thinking of ways to kill you.  
  
Cid: Hehe, calm down people.  
  
Zell: You better have a good reason..  
  
Cid: What about all that peace, love and frenship?  
  
Squall: Peace? We have war like all the time.  
  
Seifer: Love? Ewwww.  
  
Raijin: Frenship? What frenship, ya know?  
  
Fujin: RIGHT.  
  
Cid: Umm. If you feel that way we can change it to: War, hate and alone.  
  
Everyone: It's nice.  
  
Cid: Now come with me.  
  
They go through the door and find themselves on the 3rd floor in Balamb.  
  
Selphie: Wtf are we doing here?  
  
Quistis: Selphie! Don't swear.  
  
Selphie: Why not?  
  
Quistis: Because.  
  
After two hours of Quistis's talk on "Why not to swear" .  
  
Quistis: Will all of you stop trying to press the triangle?  
  
Everyone: NEVER.  
  
Irvine turns arount to Selphie.  
  
Irvine: This is all your fault.  
  
Selphie: Mine? Why?  
  
Irvine: Why? *in a Selphie voice* Why not?  
  
Selphie: So?  
  
Seifer: My ears are hurting.  
  
Fujin: MINE TOO.  
  
Zell: Someone shut her up.  
  
Quistis: Why? I give beautiful talks.  
  
Everyone: YEAH RIGHT.  
  
Quistis: You will pay for that!  
  
After four hours.  
  
Quistis: We shouldn't swear because yada yada yada blah blah blah.  
  
Zell: Does she ever shut up?  
  
Irvine: If I have any more of this I'm gonna comit suside.  
  
Seifer: This is the fist time I ever wanted Quistis to talk more.  
  
Quistis: Thank you Seifer.  
  
Cid: I don't think I'm ever gonna explan what happened.  
  
Raijin: Cid why did you ever make her a teacher, ya know?  
  
Cid: She looked as if she was good at it.  
  
Selphie: She is too good at it.  
  
Squall: And she gives you a LOT of homework.  
  
Cid: That is the spirit!  
  
Everyone stares at him.  
  
Cid: What?  
  
Squall: I just said that she gives you a LOT of homework.  
  
Raijin: Ya, what is soo great about that, ya know?  
  
Cid: Nothing. I was just thinking.  
  
Squall: Yup, I know what it's like.  
  
Seifer: Whatever.  
  
Squall: Hey! My word, my word, my word.  
  
Quistis shuts up ( thank god).  
  
Rinoa: Quistis, why did you shut up?  
  
Quistis: Noone was listening to me.  
  
Squall: Whatever.  
  
Cid: May I.  
  
Quistis: Cid.  
  
Cid: Yes?  
  
Quistis: You where gonna tell us something?  
  
Cid: YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone: What?  
  
Cid: Finally someone to listen to me.  
  
Quistis: ^_^  
  
Cid: Quistis, I give you SeeD level A.  
  
( Water-zone-8: I'd like to have a headmaster like that!!)  
  
Everyone: What????? Level A??????  
  
Zell: SAY WHAT??????  
  
Fujin: GRRRR.  
  
Raijin: That ain't fear, ya know!!  
  
Seifer: I want level A too.  
  
Irvine: Seifer, who doesn't want level A?  
  
Selphie: I'm NOT happy!!!  
  
( Water-zone-8: That's weird.)  
  
Rinoa: Huh? Why did she get level A?  
  
Quistis: Shut up!!!!!  
  
Everyone shuts up (again).  
  
Quistis: I got A because I love me, you love me, he loves me, we love me, you love me and they love me. WE ALL LOVE MEEEEE.  
  
Cid: Can we all forget the level A thing?  
  
Everyone: Whatever.  
  
THE END  
  
Cid: No, no, no.  
  
Everyone: Why not?  
  
Cid: I have to explan what happened.  
  
Zell: Oh yeah.  
  
Seifer: Just make it quick.  
  
Zell: Yeah, I need to go to the cafeteria.  
  
Edea walks in.  
  
Edea: Cid, did you find it?  
  
Rinoa: Find what?  
  
Cid: Yes honney.  
  
Seifer: FIND WHAT?????  
  
Edea: I'm so happy.  
  
Cid: I just have to tell the boys what happened.  
  
Quistis: Boys?  
  
Cid: I meant you as well.  
  
Selphie: You think we are boys?  
  
Irvine: You think my girl friend is a boy?  
  
Seifer: * Wispering* Yes.  
  
Cid: Boy and girls, is that better?  
  
Everyone: Yes.  
  
Cid: First, I sent you on this mission because I had lost what I am holding in this chest.  
  
Squall: Whatever.  
  
Rinoa: Ok.  
  
Zell: Wait.  
  
Cid: What?  
  
Zell: What about the man in black cape and the hooded man?  
  
Cid: Ahh, yes.  
  
Seifer: How do you know about the man in black cape and the hooded man?  
  
Cid: I made them.  
  
Everyone: What?  
  
Cid: It was Xu and Nida.  
  
Everyone: WHATTTTTTT?????????  
  
Cid: They wanted to write a book.  
  
Seifer: So?  
  
Cid: So I told them to follow you guys and make your adventure a book.  
  
Selphie: Who was who?  
  
Cid: Xu was the hooded man.  
  
Fujin: RAGE.  
  
Rinoa: Grrrrr.  
  
Seifer: WATER-ZONE-8!!!!!!  
  
Water-zone-8: Don't shout Seifer.  
  
Seifer: Did you know all about this?  
  
Water-zone-8: Well, umm...yeah.  
  
Water-zone-8 disapers leaving a red faced Seifer holding a gunblade.  
  
Cid: Anyway, the book is being written right now.  
  
Quistis: Shit.  
  
Selphie: Quistis, don't you remember your four hour talk about NOT swearing?  
  
Quistis: Oops.  
  
Selphie: Hehe.  
  
Quistis: Grrrr.  
  
Selphie and Quistis start fighting.  
  
Cid: And the book will be published in two days.  
  
Selphie and Quistis stop fighting.  
  
Quistis and Selphie: What?  
  
Raijin: What if we don't want the book to be published, ya know?  
  
Cid: You have no choice.  
  
Zell: .  
  
Cid: And Quistis will read it in the classrooms.  
  
Quistis: What??????  
  
Cid: It will be a lesson and the students won't sleep.  
  
Everyone: How come?  
  
Cid: It's so funny.  
  
Irvine: Grrrr.  
  
Cid: I'll give you all a free book. I'm going to buy one myself you know.  
  
Seifer: Do we get paid?  
  
Cid: Of course not.  
  
Seifer: WHY NOT?  
  
Cid: You where looking for something. Only Nida and Xu will get paid and that way Garden will also keep it's money.  
  
Squall: Crap!  
  
Zell: Can't you give me a higher SeeD level?  
  
Cid: Umm.what level are you?  
  
Zell: Level 1.  
  
Cid: What????? No SeeD is that level!!!!!!  
  
Zell: Well you've just meet one that IS level 1.  
  
Cid: Ok. I'll make you level 3.  
  
Zell: ?  
  
Cid: What?  
  
Zell: ? Only?  
  
Cid: It's better than what you where.  
  
Zell: Whatever.  
  
Squall: What is in the chest?  
  
Seifer: Oh yeah.  
  
Rinoa: It should be something VERY important.  
  
Cid: Why should it be important?  
  
Irvine: Well you sent us to the other side of the world.  
  
Selphie: Which apparently is right on the other side of that door.  
  
Cid: Heh.  
  
Raijin: Will you tell us, ya know?  
  
Cid: Does it matter if I don't?  
  
Everyone: Yes.  
  
Cid: Well, Edea was making a spell and it got stolen by a shadow that she made.  
  
Quistis: She made a shadow?  
  
Cid: It was a spell. I wanted a servant and she thought a shadow would be fun.  
  
Everyone: Oh.  
  
Cid: And the spell she had been working on for ages, she finished it and it got stolen so we sent you after it. ?  
  
Squall: Okay.  
  
Cid: Okay?  
  
Seifer: Not so fast.  
  
Cid: What?  
  
Seifer: What was the spell?  
  
Cid: I'll tell you but don't get mad.  
  
Seifer raises an eyebrow.  
  
Cid: Heh, It was a spell to make me thiner. ?  
  
Everyone: WHATTTTTTTTTTT???????????  
  
Raijin takes out his staff, Seifer and Squall take out there gunblades, Irvine takes out his gun, Quistis gets her wip out, Fujin gets her Zan and Selphie and Rinoa ( who have taken out there wepons) get ready to attack.  
  
Cid: Now people I don't think you are going to attack me.  
  
Squall: You think?  
  
Seifer: We are gonna cut you into little picses.  
  
Cid: Quistis protect me!!!!!  
  
Quistis: Why should I?  
  
Cid: If you don't you can forget about the level A.  
  
Quistis: Whatever, you wouldn't be alive to give it to me.  
  
Cid: Oh no ?.  
  
So they chased around Gareden for seven days and eight nights.  
  
Whilst running.  
  
Seifer: I think I'm getting a little tired.  
  
Quistis: How come?  
  
Seifer: Come on! Holding a gunblade for seven days and eight nights? You wouldn't last half a day.  
  
Quistis: I get the picture.  
  
Selphie: This dress is hard to run in! ?  
  
Cid: GIVE UP *gasp* *gasp*.  
  
Everyone: Never!!  
  
Cid: I don't need Edea's spell anymore. I've lost like 23 kilos.  
  
Water-zone-8: Hehe, I think I killed all of you!  
  
Fujin: YEAH.  
  
Raijin: I never thought Cid could run for sooooo long, ya know.  
  
Edea is watching them.  
  
Edea: GO CID!! I'm so proud of you!  
  
Seifer: Hey! We've lasted this long maybe I should enter the marathon! I could win!  
  
Squall: I'd go up against you and I'd win.  
  
Seifer: You wish!!!!  
  
Squall: You wish you could win!!!! You wouldn't last three minutes.  
  
Seifer: I'd win.  
  
Squall: I would!!  
  
Seifer and Squall: ME! 


End file.
